While everyone is feeling the pressure to find their soul mate by the age of 30 or some other age presumed to be the ideal time to get married, some are looking to find a partner in themselves.
Singletons across the globe are making the concept of self-marriage, or sologamy a trend. A 62-year-old woman from Vanderbijlpark, south of Joburg, made a commitment to herself on Saturday 9 November.
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Meet Rita Woodall-Terblanche who recently had a wedding ceremony with a few guests. Rita had been married twice before, her first marriage was for 6 years and her second marriage was for 37 years, however her husband passed away in 2016.
Rita made the decision to marry herself before her husband had passed away.
One day after she had viewed the house she now lives (she was looking to buy a new home) she felt the contentment of being alone, which lead to her decision.
The wedding only took 1 hour to plan.
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Here are some of the details of the ceremony as shared by Rita:
- The wedding ring was designed by Rita using a horse shoe which represents luck, a yellow diamond in the middle and was welded in gold.
- Her wedding attire was a combination of clothing items including a blouse that has a veil that hangs from the back.
- Her 'something old' was a black skirt from years back that she hadn’t worn in years.
- The bouquet was made up of four sunflowers and one big Protea.
- Rita walked herself down the aisle and had her dear friend, Leoni, who is like a sister to her, marry her.
- Although she had invited almost 20 people, seven guests including her brother and his wife and some of her close friends, attended the wedding.
- Rita’s wedding vows went as follows: “I, Rita, promise in front of all the people present and God that I will love myself, be true, faithful, and respect myself the only way I know how.”
- After the ceremony, Rita had the reception where she celebrated with bottles of champagne and served gourmet food, however there was no wedding cake.
- The ceremony cost R6 600 in total.
- Rita will be going on a honeymoon to Bela-Bela for a week.
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Here are 9 other women who’ve married themselves across the globe
1 - Telegraph reported that an Italian woman, Laura Mesi, tied the knot with herself in September 2019 after her 12 year relationship ended in 2015. Laura told her friends and family that if she had not found her soul-mate by her 40th birthday, she would marry herself and indeed she did. Organising a soiree, she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress and had 70 family and friends who joined her on her big day.
2 - According to Independent UK, life coach Linda Doktar, from Australia, married herself on Valentine’s Day in 2017, at a beach with three of her close friends joining her. Linda wore a tie-dye blue and purple gown and looked at herself on a mirror as she recited her vows. Upon being inspired by one of her close friends, Emmajane Love, who also made a commitment to herself in Bali a few months before.
3 - Mirror reported that Sophie Tanner, who got married to herself in May 2015 and had her father walk her down the aisle, renewed her vows 4 years later after cheating on herself and forgave herself. Wearing a ‘slinky' white dress and carrying daffodils she paraded the streets of Brighton, UK and was joined by her close friends who were at the ceremony. Her decision to marry herself and renew her vows was led by a simple lesson: Real love starts with loving yourself.
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4 - Daily Mail reported that Lulu Jemimah, an Oxford University student from Uganda tied the knot with herself on August 2018, after realising that she was getting tired of being asked when she would get married. Upon telling her parents about the decision, they were baffled at first then became supportive. The entire day cost her R38 for a taxi to the pub where the ceremony was held as the rest of her day was taken care of by her friends and family
5 - According to Stylist, Melissa Denton who had been married and divorced twice decided to marry herself after she was dumped over a text. She appeared on a UK dating show called ‘First Dates’ where a date questioned the diamond ring on her wedding ring finger and she explained it as self-marriage. Melissa was inspired to make this commitment after reading about by Sophie Tanner’s story. Her family was supportive, excluding her brother and her 80 year old grandmother who was hard to convince.
6 - Ink Stone News reported that a Chinese bride, Feng Jinjin, decided to get married to herself after she had read Joy Chen’s book Do Not Marry Before Age 30 in 2012, and realised all the mistakes she made in her dating life that the author, an American-Chinese life coach, flags in the book. Feng was married, however she found her husband boring and uncommunicative. After getting divorced, she took her daughter to live with her parents, moved to the US and tied the knot with herself in Bali resort in January 2017 with 20 friends joining her.
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7 - According to ABC News, Yasmin Eleby, an American Kindergarten teacher who worked in Saudi Arabia, tied the knot with herself after realising she had passed the age where she said she would be married by, which is 40. While she was in Saudi, Yasmin contacted event planner Darrel Colone, and started planning her big day at the Houston Museum of African American Culture. Yasmin had sent invites to her family and friends as a birthday celebration and it was only when guests walked inside the venue that they realised it was a wedding of Yasmin’s with herself.
8 - Metro UK reported that Finance Manager, Laëtitia Nguyen, was engaged until February when she broke up with her then fiancé months before their big day. To this day she still has no idea what caused the break up and is still deeply hurt. In September 2018 Laëtitia flew herself and her family including her mother, sister and her sister’s fiancé to Santorini Greece and had a R398 000 wedding ceremony to herself.
9 - According to Metro UK, despite not dating anyone, Michelle Plum from Horsham, West Sussex decided to tie the knot with herself after she had become a single mom in her twenties, she raised her children and realised she was free and was not looking to settle with anyone. Inspired by Yasmin, Michelle took the birthday-turned into a wedding surprise idea and made it her own. Her invitation asked guests to come in their best bridesmaid dresses, their own wedding dress, cheesy suit, or as Elvis.
Would you get married to yourself? Tell us here.
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Sources: Telegraph, Independent UK, Mirror, Daily Mail, Stylist, Ink Stone News, ABC News, Metro UK