I have been living in a studio flat for 12 months now, and even though I have been living my best life – I have also picked up some bad habits.
These are just a few of them:
1. Glasses? What's that?
I only own four glasses. Why?
Because 90% of the time I drink whatever I am in the mood for straight from the bottle, like a blonde bergie. So if you come to my house, just know that the special ingredient you’re tasting in that Woolies juice is not middleclass privilege, it’s my spit.
GIF: Slits Read
2. The front door is the only one that ever closes
In the 12 months of living alone I have probably closed my bathroom door twice. You don’t know true freedom until you’ve showered with the door open so that you can smell the chicken schnitzels you have in the oven.
3. You’re two hairy feet away from becoming a hobbit
Living alone means that you can choose when you want to bring someone into your hobbit hole. If you love spending time alone, this can sometimes result in a-social behaviour. But sometimes you have to wipe the cheese stains from your shirt, put on a nice dress and go out.
4. Sitting like a ‘lady’ = LOL why
Honestly, if my walls could talk.
5. You only have to consider yourself
I am many things, but the one thing I pride myself on is being very considerate of other people. Sometimes even a bit too considerate. That said, living alone can make you selfish because there’s no one else in your space that you have to worry about.
If you want to leave a pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom, you can!
If you don’t feel like doing the dishes, it’s totally cool.
If you want to have dinner in the nude and leave butt cheeks on your leather couch (I have obviously never done this) – that’s totally fine too.
GIF: Wiffle Gif
But these are all horrible habits you will have to change one day when you live with other people.
6. You (sometimes) waste food
It took me 11 months to figure out how to shop and cook for one person. It’s witchcraft, seriously. These days my fridge always looks kak sad, but I much prefer it over wasting food.
All in all, living alone is the tits, even when your rent debit order goes off and your bank account is emptier than Voldemort’s heart.