Do looks matter where love is concerned? Here's what an expert thinks

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Love is not all about looks.
Love is not all about looks.
Photo: Dmitry Marchenko/Getty Images
  • You could meet someone who has the qualities of a great partner but lacks something you desire, like their physical appearance.
  • However, a relationship based on physical appearances has an expiration date and will end as soon as the looks diminish for whatever reason.
  • Having a fixed mindset is very dangerous as one may lose opportunities to be loved by the correct person while chasing looks that will one day fall away.

When it comes to attraction, we all have different preferences and deal-breakers.

But as we may all know by now, life does not always give us what we think we deserve, and things don't always go as we anticipate. You could meet someone who has the qualities of a great partner but lacks something you desire, like their physical appearance not living up to your expectations.

But isn't it shallow to make physical appearance a deal-breaker where love is concerned? Life coach Dimakatso Molapo says it is an indisputable truth that we all have preferences for love.

READ MORE | Is it normal to check what's on your partner's phone or are you insecure?

"We are all different and feel different about circumstances surrounding our existence. Also, many of our perceptions are influenced by social media, magazines, friends and the forever changing trends around us. Human beings copy what they see and hear in most cases, and end up basing their decisions on that without researching for themselves if what they see or hear is valid or not. The same goes for... relationships these days," she says.

Do you think looks matter in a relationship? Let us know here.

Basing our romantic love choices on unfounded consolations outside of ourselves may be the root of our "love problems". "Sometimes a love opportunity comes dressed up as 'work'. Some people complain about being unlucky in finding 'the one', only to realise that being primarily choosy on appearance makes them miss the opportunity to find true love."

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"Your first impression of a person may attract you to them. However, when speaking about the long-term and solid kind of relationships, their personality and attitude are what will capture the attention of the heart and further sustain the relationship," she explains.

"If you are looking for a mature, solid and long-lasting relationship, in my opinion, beauty or handsomeness have nothing to do with it. It has to do with how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves when they are around you. A bad attitude and personality can make the most beautiful person ugly," Dimakatso says.

READ MORE | Couple reunites in psychiatric hospital after suffering from depression caused by their breakup

Looks and appearance are not everything in a relationship

A relationship based on physical appearances has an expiration date and will end as soon as the looks diminish for whatever reason.

"Many other factors play a role in building a meaningful relationship – personalities, shared interests, values and mutual love and respect," she says.

"Having a fixed mindset is very dangerous as one may lose opportunities to be loved by the correct person while chasing looks that will one day be a tale. Lastly, Hollywood would have been the home of life-long marriages if looks were that important in relationships." 


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