"I haven’t gone on a date in 5 years" - why my biggest nightmare isn't late marriage

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A woman sitting at a bar and texting.
A woman sitting at a bar and texting.

Dating doesn’t have a shelf life.

I was reading a tweet last night that got my blood boiling. The user tweeted the following: “every woman’s biggest nightmare is late marriage.”


It’s almost like the user thinks that women exist solely because they don’t have any other goal in life except to get married and when they reach a certain age, which by society’s standard has always felt like 35 and younger, they’ve been relegated to spinster status.

When did we decide it was okay to shame people for still being single or for getting married at a later stage in their life?   

One user responded that women have much more to fear than getting married when they’re much older.

In a society where, although we’re finally starting to see some reckoning, i.e. the #MeToo movement, there’s still a culture of violence, domestic abuse, rape and sexual assault that sees so many women becoming the targets of predators whose intent it is to assault, rape or kill – sometimes all three.

But this user is also making the assumption that women want to get married. In the thread that sparked all manner of clapbacks, a lot of women said something along the lines of how they wanted to establish themselves and be successful first – proving that their objectives for building themselves up are far more important than getting married.

It’s the same with dating. Yes, it’s fun – and no doubt, so can be marriage – but dating or marrying early is not a guarantee that you’ll find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with immediately.

READ MORE: Over the dating scene? You just might be a 'super single'

Kristen Houghton from Huffington Post also notes that there are plenty of advantages to getting married when you're older anyway: you're much wiser and have a better grasp on what you want out of life and a partner and you have better grip on your own financial security.

In any case, it's not always about at what age you get married - but more about how long of a period between dating before you decide on getting married.

According to a piece on the Independent.co.uk, Helen Fischer, a human behaviour expert revealed that waiting two years before getting married will actually boost your chance of having a happy marriage. She adds that with many people being scared of divorce by not marrying too quickly, it actually gives people more time to invest in their relationship and take the proper time to get to know their potential spouse.

Personally, I've talked about my anxiety when it comes to dating here and I believe that if you can’t be in a healthy and happy relationship with yourself, then how could you possibly expect to be happy when you’re with someone else?

And to me it's clear that love has no time limit except for the ones society places on it.

WATCH: The Top Reasons Not To Get Married Young

READ MORE: 5 reasons why the "honeymoon phase" is actually the worst

What do you think? I’d love to hear from you.

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Do you think it's important to get married in this day and age?
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Results
Yes, it's important in order to create a family unit and for companionship
23% - 891 votes
Not at all. Being single is far more liberating
9% - 357 votes
There is no general answer to this, it's each to their own
49% - 1923 votes
Yes, society still frowns on unmarried people, especially women
1% - 54 votes
It depends on whether you are able to find a compatible partner
18% - 701 votes
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