Is a questionnaire on a first date helpful or shady? Women debate one man's real-life experience

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Illustration by Getty Images.
Illustration by Getty Images.
Tomas Rodriguez
  • The number of women and men tired of being kept in the talking stage of dating is increasing daily.
  • To avoid wasting her time, one woman had her date fill out a questionnaire on their first date.
  • The guy took to Quora to ask if he should be concerned. We spoke to women about their thoughts on the subject. 

Dating can be tedious; hence people are trying to find ways to limit time wasters. 

When people meet, they usually start in the 'talking stage' of dating before things progress to a full-blown relationship. However, this stage may take too long, and you immediately start thinking of creative ways to get to know the person better to speed things along. Although this is done with good intentions, the methods can sometimes be concerning.  

READ MORE | 7 things you should have in your handbag on every first date

One man had to fill in a 20-question questionnaire on his first date.

Taking to Quora, the concerned man wrote, "On the first date, my date asked me to fill out a questionnaire with 20 questions before we continued. I was somewhat taken aback, but should I be concerned?"

This sparked a conversation on the platform, and people shared their opinions, with one saying, "It's odd, but she is doing that because she is looking for a long-term relationship and wants to be efficient. She does not want to invest her emotions into a relationship if you guys are incompatible regarding issues that are important to her."

The commenter added that if the questionnaire had questions about materialistic values, he should be concerned.

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Another added that it might be a concerning red flag if someone hands you a questionnaire on the first date.

"Sure, you should be concerned. She might be a control freak. It's also concerning to me that she has a written questionnaire instead of asking questions in conversation," they said.

We asked women how they feel about the concept of having a questionnaire on their first date, and here's what they said:

I have honestly been through enough talking, and having a questionnaire would literally save so much of my time.
Melanie
I only go on a date to find out if I'm compatible with a person. So, if a questionnaire will help answer those tough questions, I don't mind bringing it along or my prospective partner bringing his along.
Nokwazi
I won't lie; I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea of having a questionnaire. I feel like it takes away the beauty of dating. It's supposed to be a journey of discovery. I get that it cuts to the chase, but I want to find out by myself and not through a piece of paper that is probably influenced by what society says relationships should look and feel like.
Zama
I'm a bit sceptical about the questionnaire because I feel it consists of questions that are probably on Buzzfeed, and they won't be helpful because we are all different.
Nhlanhla

READ MORE | No awkward silences, please -10 questions to ask on your first date

I am so in support of a questionnaire. I honestly do not have three months in me to get to know someone, only for them to turn out to be the total opposite of what they said on our first date.
Mpumi
I see how the questionnaire could work for a prospective partner or me, but if someone pulled one out on a date - I would probably never see them again. It sounds controlling.
Anonymous
Absolutely no! Is this a date or a job interview? A questionnaire can't help you determine chemistry or if your energies match. I don't think I'll have a gut feeling if I can just pick my life partner from a piece of paper.
Ntando

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I personally love being spontaneous, so a questionnaire would feel like it's a bit controlled, and I find that boring.
Anonymous
Unless I got the date through a dating or relationship coach who gave me a questionnaire to find out about what I like, then I don't need a questionnaire anywhere near me.
Nolo
This generation of instant connections is getting out of hand. You need to learn about a person organically, and a questionnaire takes that away.
Emily

Sources: Quora


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