Lessons on dating, love and scammers from The Tinder Swindler

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Illustration. Photo by Getty Images
Illustration. Photo by Getty Images

One minute you are swiping right, the next, you are flown in and out of the country in a private jet.

It is one jet lag after the other as you collect passport stamps. 

Mind you, this is not even for a holiday but for lunch or dinner, a sleepover here and there. Your new beau gets chauffeured in a Rolls Royce or a Bentley on some days.

He has a bodyguard, and soon after, you find out your diamond tycoon has enemies all over the world he seemingly has to run away from because his life is in danger. 

"Send money, my enemies after me," he tells you. 

READ MORE | Looking to find love online? Make your profile stand out with these tips

A month on, you are in love and even looking at luxury apartments to move in with the billionaire love of your life you met on Tinder.

Soon enough, you fall in love, and the shadiness of this whole love story crumbles down. And you are a scam victim. All you did was swipe right on Tinder. What a match! It sounds like a movie, but is a real life story as told on Netflix.

Whoever said, "If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is", deserves a standing ovation right now. The Tinder Swindler personified this idiom.

If you have not watched it, please do. Your heart might be saved from evil, billionaire wannabe swindlers lurking out there.

There are varying opinions on this. A woman meets a bogus billionaire on Tinder with a modus operandi, introducing her to a life of luxury, getting her to fall in love with him and then scamming her. 

Some say the victims of this scam are gullible and were after money, but others genuinely feel sorry for them. 

READ MORE | 'I tried various dating apps for a month, here's what I learnt'

Here is what we learnt from The Tinder Swindler:

Transactional love 

When love or a relationship's foundation is all transactional, chances are it will crumble when the transactions aren't happening anymore. The basis of the relationship is all about what the other can do for you and vice versa. You are only as good as what you can do for the person.


There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking time to get to know someone. Sometimes, when you rush into something, you crush, as cliché as that may sound — getting to know someone takes time, especially if it is a long-distance relationship or something that started online. 

READ MORE | People are getting married less and opting for alternative ways of connecting

Red flags 

The urge to fall in love often gets people in a dreamy bubble. Red flags are always there but they are ignored. What is a billionaire doing on Tinder? Why do you need to get loans for a billionaire? Who are these enemies he is running away from? Not everyone who comes into your life means well. There is always an intention, so be alert, and know people are not always who they say they are.


Love is beautiful, but it is not desperate. Be worried once you start forcing yourself to do or be something all in the name of love. You should not be feeling like you will lose someone if you don't do what they instruct you to do. 

READ MORE | 'A scammer got me to talk to him about sex and watch porn with him by promising me a fake job'


There is always that thing that will give you a stern warning. Some call it a "gut feeling". When you start feeling like something isn't right, don't ignore it. 


Define the kind of love you want for yourself and the type of partner that will fit into that. Core values, character, beliefs, how your partner treats you, and his long-term plans are a good to start. Money, what he can do for you, what he has, or his life of luxury should never be the reason you fall in love because, like the swindler, when all of that is gone, then what? 

Have you ever been scammed by someone you loved? Tell us about it here.

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