There could be a serious reason your partner is ‘hiding’ you from their friends and family

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Illustration photo by Getty images
Illustration photo by Getty images
  • We published a story about pocketing, where we explained that it may take a little longer for some people to introduce their partners to family and friends.
  • This may be because they want to make sure that their partner is ready and well prepared before meeting their loved ones.
  • But what happens when your partner does not introduce you to their family or let alone their friends?


We asked readers what their thoughts are on pocketing. Matchmaker and Date Coach of Perfect partners, Shannon Davidoff explains that there could be a serious reason for pocketing.

“From our experience, there could be valid reasons for ‘pocketing’ and hiding a relationship from their friends and family. Maybe the person is not over an ex and not truly ‘emotionally available’ and has not moved on,” says Shannon.

“They could be subtly using the new relationship to cause jealousy, which may, in turn, rekindle interest. Or simply, they are living a double life! They may be benefitting from the ‘pocketed’ relationship and waiting to cut ties when enough is enough!”

READ MORE | Ghosted? Your ex may get a sadistic type of pleasure in seeing you upset or anxious

She further tells W24 that it could happen that the ‘pocketer’ has not been honest about their background and would hate their new love interest to discover things about them that may cause a break-up.

“Another view is they may be ashamed of their tribe! Their tribe may not be ‘socially acceptable’ in some ways, or they may have very stringent criteria on who their person should be with, and may not conform to their close community, so the person is still ‘changing them up’ and ‘preparing them’.” She says.

Shannon also says that the friends, family and significant others may not approve of the new relationship, for many reasons, religion, culture or social standing. Or the new partner has a dodgy background and they are giving the relationship a chance to see what manifests before proudly presenting the new love.

“Either way, not a good start to any relationship – and smells like an agenda or two abound!!”

Has a partner ever hidden you from their loved ones? Tell us about it here.

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