What are they really thinking after a one night stand? A guy and a girl tell all

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Illustration photo by Getty Images
Illustration photo by Getty Images
Getty Images
  • Casual sex - although fun - can be followed by a lot of overthinking the morning after the night before.
  • From wondering if your performance will get an encore. to thinking about whether you'll text each other again. 
  • Here, we take one girl, one guy, and one steamy night. These two spill all on their one-night-stand encounters. 

After "hooking up" with a guy, women tend to tell their best friends every detail. We also question everything. "Why did he leave his socks on?", "He still hasn't texted to say he had a good night, why not?" And more often than not, we wonder, "What does he really think about me?"

Here, we take one girl, one guy and one steamy night. These two spill all on the saucy night that was: 

Her tale 

Name: Bella*, 26

Number of one night stands: 5

My friend, Laura, and I were out one Sunday night, scouting for guys.

"We were at a cool new bar enjoying a couple of wines. We went back to Laura's house for a few more drinks and saw her flatmate's light on in his room, so went in to say hi. I'd had a crush on him since the first time we met, so I was instantly excited. Ben was lying shirtless on the bed, showing off his great body. I remember thinking how hot he looked.

"Laura and I sat down on the bed and we all just started talking. I wasn't thinking anything was going to happen, but I liked his vibe and was enjoying the innocent flirt. Until this point, I'd always thought he was cute... He seemed like a nice boy, safe and maybe a bit scared of girls, but that night he came across as a player. He started talking about all the girls he had on the go and immediately found him more attractive. Then Laura decided to head to bed and walked out.

"As I bent down to put my shoes on, Ben whispered, 'You don't have to go back to Laura's bed if you don't want to.' I gave him a cheeky answer like, 'You've got enough girls to handle - I'm sure you'll be fine by yourself, and left.

READ MORE: Sex and intimacy coaching can help strengthen connections between people during the Covid-19 pandemic 

"I wanted to go back into Ben's room, but never thought I could do it... When I got upstairs, Laura made a joke about me knocking on his bedroom door. My first reaction was, 'Oh my God, I could never do that!' Then I thought, 'Why the hell not?!'I was so nervous as I walked back down the stairs to his bedroom. I was just hoping he didn't say, 'I'm too tired' or 'I was only joking', but I knew the chances of that happening were slim to none. I held my breath as I headed down the staircase to get to his room, feeling a little nervous.

"Eventually I got to the door. but it wouldn't budge. There I was, standing in the dark about to ask a boy to sleep with me. A voice inside my head said, 'Abort! Abort! but Ben had heard me and opened the door. We both knew why I was there, but I pretended that Laura's bed was too small." 

Do you mind if I sleep here? We just laid there, laughing, until I said, 'OK, well, good night!' and turned over. When I turned back, he said, 'I'll give you a goodnight kiss', and it all happened from there.

We kissed for a bit, but then it went straight to sex. Most girls want a bit more foreplay, but it was fine. He didn't last long - after all, I did spring it on him. I think he felt a bit embarrassed.

"He rolled over and went to sleep...

"It would have been cool if he thought, 'I just came and she didn't' and he maybe could have tried again. In his defence, he offered to go down on me, but I said no.

"I worried they'd think I was 'slutty'.

"My girlfriends screamed and laughed when I told them, saying they wished they were that confident. I wondered if they thought I was spontaneous or just slutty? I hoped Ben wouldn't think I'm the type of girl who does it all the time. But at the end of the day I'm happy with my decision. I value myself and know I'm not slutty. I wouldn't advise my friends who aren't sexually confident to do it - if he doesn't get your number or call, you are going to feel like crap. If you know this is likely to be the outcome but you're still having fun, go for it!

"I wouldn't mind a drink with him. If he asked me out on a date, I would go. My only worry would be I don't want to be thought of as the girl who puts out."

READ MORE: Men say sex is better during the Covid pandemic, women beg to differ 

His tale

Name: Ben*, 26

Number of one night stands: 30

It was a Sunday night...

"I was lying in bed just reading a book when my flatmate, Laura, and her friend, Bella, stumbled into my bedroom. I remembered meeting Bella once before and thinking she was cute. We were all just chatting and then she made this comment like, 'No guy ever has the balls to come up and have a go.' 

"I just smirked and thought, 'OK, what angle do you approach this from?' There's always multiple ways. I went on asking a few questions to gauge where she was at, like, 'Why don't guys approach you?' and 'Why are you still single?' When Laura left the bedroom, I whispered to Bella, 'Are you really going to sleep in Laura's bed?'

"She seemed taken aback, but wasn't having any of it. She made a joke about me having plenty of girlfriends and left.

"I thought that would be it. A few minutes later, I heard footsteps and had this gut instinct it was her. She was standing in my doorway wearing her PJs and said, 'I couldn't fit in that bed upstairs, it's too small.'

"I replied, "Well, you're lucky because I have a king-size bed. When she told me she didn't normally do this, I realised I'd have to make it comfortable straight away so made a joke about this not being my normal Sunday night, either. She climbed into my bed and I got these excited butterflies like I used to get before sport or a challenge.

"Game on!

"That was my headspace. Our faces were curled up near each other, our eyes locked and we didn't say anything for a few minutes. She broke the silence by saying we should sleep. I leant over to give her a goodnight kiss and it turned into sex. It was good - we were pretty compatible and she enjoyed it. 

READ MORE: Just friends - Does 'the sex part' always ruin platonic friendships? 

"I'd say my performance was faster than usual because of all the excitement - she had kind of taken me by surprise. Then we lay there laughing about how we had to get up early for work.

"I didn't cuddle her afterwards...  

"Obviously, we both wanted sleep and it wasn't exactly an 'I like you' moment', more of a 'that was fun' moment. I rolled over and nodded off thinking it was a great way to cap off the week.

"In the morning, I jumped in the shower while she slept in a little longer. We chatted while I got ready for work. We were joking and laughing, and Bella commented on my shoes saying they were very stylish for cross-trainers. I left for work without asking for her number.

"I knew that I could always get it off my flatmate if, when the dust settled, I wanted to pursue it. Plus, I'm already dating a few girls and wasn't chasing her before we slept together, so why would I start now?

It was one of those spur-of-the-moment situations. The air of opportunity and surprise is no longer there, so it wouldn't be as exciting. If it happened again there'd be meaning behind it and I'm not sure that I want anything more.

"I drove to work with a big smile on my face and zero worries..."When I texted my mates to tell them about my wild night, they loved it and said,'"Thanks for curing our Mondayitis.'

"I didn't really think about it afterwards. I probably wouldn't ask her out. I definitely don't think any less of Bella. She'd be an amazing girl to go out with but she's just not my type."


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