Mom on why she chooses to embrace her 12-year-old gay son – 'He is exactly where he needs to be'

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Fafa's mom, Mpho Nogueira. Image supplied
Fafa's mom, Mpho Nogueira. Image supplied
  • Mpho Nogueira is a proud mom who embraces her gay son openly.
  • She suspected her son was gay when he was five or six but waited for the right time to have the conversation with him.
  • Sharing her journey on TikTok has led other mothers to reach out to her and ask for advice on how to go about talking to their gay sons or accepting them as they are.

As clichéd as it may sound, "not all heroes wear capes". It is unheard of to see a mother to a 12-year-old openly embrace her son as Mpho Nogueira has. 

Brave enough to withstand the mean and negative comments on social media and judged for "allowing her son to be gay", as some have ignorantly put it. What Mpho has always wanted is to love and support her child loudly.

The proudest thing she has ever done as a mother is allowing her son to be himself without judgement.

Her son is 12-year-old Bruno Nogueira, known as Fafa on TikTok, he is bubbly and flamboyant. But he wasn't always free to be himself before a conversation about sexuality came up between him and his mom.

sexuality, son, mom, acceptance

Mpho Nogueira and Fafa. Image supplied

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"The first conversation, we were watching Somizi and Mohale's wedding, and I asked him, 'Are you going to marry a man or a woman'? He said, 'I am going to marry a man'." 

Fafa confirmed he was attracted to the same sex.

For Mpho, that conversation did not shock her at all.

"I have always known that my son is gay from age five or six. I have always seen that he is different.

sexuality, identity, parenting
12-year-old Fafa. Image supplied

"At first, I thought he was a bit flamboyant, and maybe it would change with age, but it did not. He is exactly where he needs to be," she tells us. 

Going on TikTok to share about her life was initially about support and love for her son, but it became more than that.

"Other mothers share that they are going through the same things as me. I have had parents that distanced themselves from me because I support my son as a gay child.

"I have also had parents who have children who are gay and are struggling to accept it. As parents, we are supposed to love our kids, no matter how they are," Mpho adds.

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"A lot of mothers reach out, many asking if their sons are gay because they are flamboyant. I tell them to wait and have a conversation where you let them know they are at ease. I tell them not to push their children away."

sexuality, identity, parenting
Fafa says his mom's support has made him happier. Image supplied

Fafa says having a mom who supports him has made him happier. 

"Since my mom supports me, I feel free, like, I don't have to stress anymore, and I am calmer," he shares. 

The changes Mpho has seen in him is that he is comfortable in his skin. 

"He could be wearing a dress in the mall, and he doesn't care what people say anymore.

How would you deal with finding out that your son is gay? Tell us here.

"Call me the LGBTQI mama", Mpho laughs.  

She calls herself "a new generation mom".

"We can't act like things are not happening. I am free to talk to my children, but I am also a mom. 

"Some parents have had their children commit suicide because they were bullied or didn't feel accepted. Don't put your children through such," she adds.

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Some mothers have thanked her for sharing this part of her life but there are those people who have criticised her. 

"I have thick skin. I am a mother, and I will always protect my cubs. I shut it out, block and delete [ugly comments].

"Why are we judging people based on their sexuality when no one is judging us for being straight?" 

Mpho says you can't force people to love you, but you can find people willing to love you as you are, even if they are not family.

"The best decision I have made is making my son happy. That is all," she adds. 

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