10 relationship myths debunked - and the sobering truth behind them

Childhood fairytales have taught us that couples always live happily ever after.

This, and other misleading fantasies and myths will stop you from fully experiencing the riches that relationships have to offer.

Dr John Demartini lists the top 10 relationship myths:

Myth 1: A new relationship will make me happy

During the initial infatuation phase of a relationship, you see mostly the positive side of the person. There is a strong attraction, positive traits and potential for lasting happiness.

However, that is just a delusion. Regardless of how well a relationship begins, you will eventually experience both sides of the person.

Myth 2: When I find my soul mate, I will feel complete

Living as if your soul mate will complete you will only lead to heartbreak. The illusions that you project onto your soul mate will inevitably fall apart when that person sometimes behaves in a manner that is not supporting you.

A soul mate can be one person, or several people in your life, people that fully complement you and help you find your own wholeness.

Myth 3: The right relationship will last forever

As every relationship begins, another one is ending. So the idea of ‘forever’ is an unrealistic expectation. A relationship lasts as long as both people communicate with each other's highest values or priorities.

Myth 4: Once we get past these rough waters, it will be smooth sailing

Relationships are not static and no one remedy will eliminate all of your supposed troubles.

Myth 5: A good relationship requires sacrifice

Sacrifice tends to breed resentment. Anytime you do something you do not want to do, or see no benefit to yourself in doing it, then you will become resentful. This may happen immediately, or subconsciously.

Myth 6: Great sex happens only at the beginning of a relationship

Both lust and intimate lovemaking can continue to grow and evolve throughout a relationship as long as you understand and disable any unrealistic expectations that might shut it down.

Myth 7: In the right relationship, I will not have to work at it

Many people hang on to the idea that being with someone should happen naturally. However, a fulfilling relationship requires concentration, organisation, effort and skill.

Myth 8: If I am not involved with someone I will be lonely

People can feel lonely in a crowded room. Loneliness is a function of how you perceive yourself relative to your environment.

You can sleep right next to someone and yet feel a thousand miles distant, or be a thousand miles distant but feel as if they are close.

Myth 9: Children complete a marriage

Children are unlikely to complete a union just as romantic partners are unlikely to complete each other.

Myth 10: Opposites attract

There is no true opposite, only an apparent opposite. Every human has the same potential for love, anger, greatness, hope, despair, etc. What you see in a romantic partner is also present in you. It is just expressed in a different way.

Dr. John Demartini is a human behaviour specialist, educator, author and the founder of the Demartini Institute. 

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