Reality TV star Samke Mhlongo on love: 'Women must have their own money regardless of relationship status'

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Reality TV star  and author of Ringfence Samke Mhlongo.
Reality TV star and author of Ringfence Samke Mhlongo.
Image supplied
  • Wealth coach and reality TV star Samke Mhlongo has authored a book titled Ringfence, centred around women, money and relationships.
  • In it, she details her experience in marriage at 21, divorce at 29, wealth creation and how she managed to be a success despite all the challenges. 
  • "The inspiration for my book came from my disillusionment with marriage and what life is like post-divorce," Mhlongo shares. 


Wealth coach and reality TV star Samke Mhlongo has authored a book titled Ringfence, centred around women, money and relationships.

In it, she details her experience in marriage at 21, divorce at 29, wealth creation and how she managed to move on with her life and be a success despite all the challenges she faced. Samke says she is reliving her 20s in her 30s and settling into a serious relationship at 36.

Apart from all the other hats she wears, she is passionate about discussing the freedom that comes with creating wealth. 

author, divorce, reality tv star, love
 
Wealth coach Samke Mhlongo at the launch of her book. Image supplied by Azania Public

READ MORE | Author of A Marriage Built On Lies shares red flags she ignored and how she left a bad marriage


We caught up with Samke after the launch of her book, and this is what she had to say. 

What is the inspiration behind writing the book?

The inspiration for my book came from my disillusionment with marriage and what life is like post-divorce. It also came from the difficulty in rebuilding - some of the stupid mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learned along the way.

What are your thoughts on the idea of money, wealth and power  as explored in the book?

It's not so much that women are oblivious to the concept of money and power, but the many layers of power. Yes, having money as a woman gives one more freedom, especially the freedom and ability to leave abusive relationships. However, unless the psychological bondage of an abusive relationship is addressed, post-separation abuse can still occur with the same damaging impact.

author, divorce, reality tv star, love
Author of Ringfence Samke Mhlongo . Image supplied by Azania Public


READ MORE | What causes marriages to crumble and fail within the first 10 years

How important is it for women to have their own money in relationships or marriage? 

Women must have their own money, regardless of their relationship status. However, it is even more important for women to play an active role in the financial decision-making that impacts their lives, whether or not they have money. A simple example is whether or not a woman is paying the mortgage or home loan; she should still play an active role in the management of that home loan.

Essentially, not being responsible for a particular transaction shouldn't preclude a woman from participating in it. How else will she learn how to manage finances and negotiate transactions? It doesn't even have to be in the instance of divorce, and it could be in the instance of the passing of her spouse or when a spouse is incapacitated.

READ MORE | 'I gave my ex 3 loving gifts and made a hilarious fashion mistake the day I signed our divorce papers'

What are some untruths about ‘marrying rich’? Is it something women should aspire to, and why?

The biggest untruth about marrying rich is that it equals financial freedom. Marrying rich means just that – you married someone that is rich. That does not mean YOU are rich. It can introduce you to the world of the rich and give you the experiences of the rich, but it doesn't mean YOU are rich unless, of course, the person you married decides to agree to you sharing in those riches legally. 

author, divorce, reality tv star, love
Wealth coach Samke Mhlongo. Image supplied by Azania Public

What's the most common question you get from women about money, especially those in relationships and marriages?

The most common question I get is how they can start building their own investments and nest eggs without their partners or husbands thinking they're planning on leaving. It's a simple question with a near impossible answer because of the unique nature of relationships.

In some societies, it's absolutely normal and even encouraged to have your own nest egg as a woman, while in others, it’s seen as a fracture to the union and an action that would not be taken by someone fully committed to making the union work.

This belief continues to leave women financially vulnerable both within and post-divorce. 


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