"My boyfriend wants to leave his stable job as a banker to pursue a rap career"

Relationships have it's ups and downs especially when a compromise isn't reached
Relationships have it's ups and downs especially when a compromise isn't reached

*Anelisa thought her 27-year-old boyfriend *Thami was pulling her leg when he mentioned that he was leaving his full-time job as a banker to finally pursue his dream of becoming a hip hop star.

That is, until he showed her a draft of his resignation letter.

Anelisa has tried everything she can to sway him from leaving his stable job for what appears to be a pipe dream, but has struggled to get through to him.

Speaking to Anelisa, this is the story she shared with us:

Thami and I have been dating for four years. We have a great relationship and have never had any problems up until now.

He has always had an interest in music, specifically hip-hop, which I love too so when he told me that he was a "musician" growing up, I thought of it as cute and even joked that he should've pursued it further.

Much to my dismay, it seems he may have taken my joke seriously because about a month ago he told me that he was considering leaving his well-paying and stable job as a banker to become a rapper.

At first, I thought that it was a joke and it would blow over but a few weeks later he showed me a draft of his resignation letter.

I nearly toppled over in shock.

READ MORE: Should you tell a new partner everything? Relationship experts weigh in

Because he's a very sensitive person, I tried as gently as possible to dissuade him from this decision but nothing was getting through to him. I even tried to explain the financial implications of his decision, but he refuses to listen.

While he does have a significant amount of savings, I still don't think this is a dream worth chasing.

My only other option is to tell his parents because they may be the only ones who can speak some sense into him. However, I worry that he might feel that I don't support his dreams and that I'm trying to turn his family on him.

How do I get him to change his mind about making such a big decision that has all the potential to go sideways not only for him, but for me too?

READ MORE: "While scrolling through Tinder, I found my husband's profile - what does this mean for our relationship?"

This is what clinical psychologist and relationship expert David Wilson has to say about Anelisa's dilemma:

"There obviously needs to be a little more transparency in this conversation between the couple," he says.

David then goes on to say the following;

"Making a career switch is a big deal, and Thami might not realise this. My best advice for Anelisa is to sit down with Thami and explain her concerns about what he is considering without trying to spare his feelings.

"While Thami does have savings, he needs to explain to Anelisa how he plans on sustaining himself as his new career takes off, that is, if it takes off. This explanation should be in vivid detail.

"Anelisa should also avoid forcing Thami to stay in his current position as this could result in him being resentful towards her for denying him the opportunity to do what he loves, and the relationship will, in turn, suffer.

"Thami should also consider having a backup plan in place that he can fall back on should his career as a rapper not work out. This way, Anelisa will feel more comfortable supporting him in his decision."

Ultimately, the relationship expert adds, both people in the relationship need to learn to compromise and take each other into consideration before taking any drastic steps.

"If Anelisa still feels uneasy, then maybe she should get advice from his parents if they're the ones that he is most likely to listen to, or else she might have to consider walking away from the relationship if dating a rapper or aspiring rapper is not something she sees herself doing," is how David concludes his advice to Thami's concerned girlfriend.

We do hope she and anyone else who finds themselves in a similar situation, will heed this advice. 

*Names have been changed.

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