- Women have become high earners in the workforce than ever before and, in some cases, are taking the lead as primary breadwinners in their households, sometimes even out-earning their husbands.
- For 34-year-old Lundo, out-earning her husband is the reason why she allows him to take credit for their finances.
- Lundo believes that as the "head of the family", her husband needs to show up to those around them as the main breadwinner, even if it sometimes means being economical with the truth.
- This is their story as told to Wandi Jama.
I grew up in an extremely religious household – my father was a priest, and my mom was the typical submissive pastor's wife.
My mother was a nurse and had a stable income, my father depended on the church, and you know how that goes. It's not as stable as one would like it to be.
So, my mother was pretty much the one bringing the bacon home and keeping the ship afloat. As a result, having a partner who's wealthy or earns more than me has never really been my priority as long as he has good values and a good heart.
I believe that as the "head of the family" my husband needs to show up to those around us as the main breadwinner, even if it sometimes means being economical with the truth.
I met my husband at university, and he is my typical college sweetheart. We instantly knew that we'd get married one day.
We got married at a young age (we were both 24) and 'started from the bottom together. I remember how he used to drop me off at my internship in his tiny car that constantly had engine problems.
He studied graphic design, and I studied Accounting but the thought that there's a possibility that I might out-earn him didn't cross my mind.
I'm currently a chartered account, and my husband is a freelance designer and website developer and his income is less stable and smaller than mine.
I allow him to take credit for my finances. He might not have a stable salary, but he still needs to lead and take responsibility for our finances.
When we go out for dinners or outings with friends, I usually give him my card to swipe, or he'll swipe from our joint account. We recently moved to a new home, and the house is on my name, but I would never say that to my family.
I just told them my husband bought us a new home.
My close friends don't understand this logic, but I believe things like finances and flexing your financial power could lead to problems in your marriage. That's why I don't mind it.
My friend was shocked when I told her that I paid for half of my 30th birthday trip and he paid the other half.
Does he mind it? No, because it's not like he's not bringing in any money at all.
I think he also doesn't want to go through the humiliation of not seeming like he can take care of me when in fact, he does so much for me that money can't buy.
I think society has forgotten that there's more to a relationship than money. Yes, money plays a role in a healthy relationship, but there's still so much more to consider and want in a man.
I'm not saying date a broke man who has no ambition, but if one of us can hold the fort or even live comfortably with just one stable income, what's the fuss about?
Life happens, and we live in a very unstable economy. People are not their financial situation. There's more to them than that.
Do you agree with how this couple is conducting their finances in the marriage? How do you deal with finances? Tell us here
* Name has been changed