How to spring clean your relationship when the spark has vanished

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  • It's easier to fall into the same dull patterns the longer you've been in a relationship.
  • This can make you feel as if the "spark" has vanished.
  • Therefore it is important to spring clean your relationship.


Psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini says you should open the closets of your relationship and begin throwing out the times you’ve taken each other for granted by starting these five new habits to break through the humdrum and add new life to your relationship.

1. Plan a weekly lunch or breakfast date

Something as simple as switching up your regular dinner date to a breakfast or lunch shakes up your routine and makes you feel special. When your partner schedules you into their day, it makes you feel like a priority instead of an obligation.

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2. Take a class together

One of the most important focus areas in pre-marriage counselling is how well a couple learns and plays together. Taking a class together is effective at promoting both. A cooking class, sport class, or conquering a home improvement class together helps build vulnerability and support for each other. Plus, learning together is fun, and laughter is medicine to relationships.

3. Create weekly check-ins

The busyness of life leaves little time for couples to sit down and talk about how they feel. Begin a practice of Thursday night check-ins where you schedule an hour for the two of you to talk. Ask your partner how they’re really feeling and make it a safe place to brainstorm solutions to old problems instead of sweeping them under the rug.

4. Plan a vacation together

Every couple deserves one vacation a year without the children. This time is integral to the relationship’s health, so make it a priority to schedule it and not feel guilty about leaving the children. Your marriage’s health depends on it, and your children’s emotional health will benefit from a strong marriage.

READ MORE | The way you greet your partner sets the tone for your relationship

5. Stop comparing yourselves to other couples

It’s easy to get caught up in others’ lives you see on social media. You may begin feeling as though your partner isn’t right for you or that you’re missing out on the fun other couples have. Social media only shows what the individuals posting want to show.

Focus your attention on creating a relationship you love with your partner. Stop worrying about how your relationship compares to others. Show your partner appreciation, communicate your feelings, and put effort into nurturing each other. Your relationship doesn’t have to be like anyone else’s to be the perfect relationship for you.

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