Stalk, trap or ignore? What do you do when you think your partner is cheating on you?

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Illustration photo by Getty Images.
  • Constantly being consumed by thoughts of your partner cheating on you can be draining.
  • Life coach Thembi Hama says a healthy relationship should be based on honesty and trust, so you should be open about fears and insecurities. 
  • Unfortunately for some couples, the mistrust, secrecy, dishonesty and resentment has become irreconcilable because they let the situation cause a breakdown in the relationship.

Thoughts of your partner cheating on you can drive you insane. Sometimes, even let you believe stories you have created in your head and do not exist.

You might even be tempted to stalk, trap, check your partner's phone or follow them around to ensure they are "caught". But this could bring you more trouble than you need.

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There might be an element of truth in other relationships, so yes, you might be right your partner is cheating on you, but what then do you do with this information?

Life coach Thembi Hama says nip it in the bud. TALK!

"I would not advise anyone to dodge or delay any conversations as this may cause resentments, wrongful assumptions and dishonesty."

Thembi says a healthy relationship should be based on honesty and trust. There is nothing honest about stalking and trapping your partner, she adds.

 "Let your partner debunk any wrong theories. Let them add more flesh to the skeleton. Let them explain. In turn, share your fears and insecurities with them and how they can make this better."

READ MORE | 'Marry me… or else' - Is issuing an ultimatum the solution to challenging situations?

You might think it sounds "easier said than done" but what good is it to not share how you feel?

"Women may suspect things that may not necessarily be true due to perhaps painful past experiences or common societal stereotypes about men.

"These stereotypes and past experiences cause women to generally be on guard and sensitive, particularly towards certain behaviours of me. The may be insecure in the relationship and fearful of the future."

Thembi says usually when a relationship breaks down irretrievably, women are often left to pick up the pieces on their own and single-handedly raise the kids from the relationship. 

READ MORE | 'I saw my friend's boyfriend being cosy with another woman at a party, should I tell on him?'

"Relationships require honesty, trust, respect and reciprocity to function. If one is in a relationship, they must attempt to be present, attentive, and responsive to their partner's needs," she adds. 

Unfortunately for some couples, the mistrust, secrecy, dishonesty and resentment become irreconcilable because they let the situation cause a breakdown in the relationship.

What would you do if you had suspicions that your partner was cheating on you? Let us know.

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