"While scrolling through Tinder, I found my husband's profile - what does this mean for our relationship?"

Sometimes problems in your relationship drives you to desperate measures
Sometimes problems in your relationship drives you to desperate measures

A 28-year-old woman *Amani, made a shocking discovery after scrolling through popular dating app Tinder.

She stumbled upon her husband of three years' profile, where in one picture he is even posing shirtless.

While Amani desperately wants to be angry at her partner, she also feels guilty that she herself is also on the app.

This is her story, as told to W24:

*Names have been changed.

*Mike and I had a loving relationship for the most part. We dated for three years before I fell pregnant with our baby boy. I was heavily pregnant, but I was also happier than ever at our lilac-themed wedding.

Our relationship had always been very loving and we never had any trouble - that is, until Mike got fired from his job.

We started suffering financially and soon our relationship was struggling too. Too much back and forth about how money was being spent, and how we were going to get by since I was only a call centre agent and earned too little.

READ MORE: ‘My husband and I are cheating on each other with the same person’

We completely stopped being intimate and I found myself loathing him for losing his job.

For a year or so, the struggle continued and then finally, Mike got another job and soon we were able go back to our normal lifestyle. The only thing that didn't go back to normal was our relationship.

We remained civil towards each other, but never really romantic anymore.

Soon I found myself longing for a physical connection and before I knew it, I had downloaded Tinder and went out with a few of the guys on there. While I hadn't had sex with any of them, I knew it was wrong.

But I loved going out and laughing and feeling happy again.

One day while doing my usual scroll through the app, my heart dropped instantly as I came across my husband's profile. There he was posing candidly in the pictures, even topless in one of them - so happy and unlike the man I was going home to every night.

I'm currently feeling a number of emotions - guilt and anger being the most consistent.

What have we done to one another? How do we move forward?

READ MORE: 'I found out that my wife is dating her pastor – how do I save my marriage?'

An expert weighs in

We spoke to psychologist Dr. David Wilson, who shared the following advice for the couple:

"This is quite the predicament, but one thing is clear - the couple have clearly lost touch with their feelings for each other, and need to communicate with each other if there are even any left," he says.

Dr David Wilson also adds that the couple should also disclose all the details of their infidelity and allow everything to be laid out on the table so that there are no more secrets going forward.

Should the couple decide that they still love and want to be together, the psychologist suggests that they "visit a relationship expert/marriage counselor who can help them work through their feelings of betrayal (because they both technically have been cheating)."

"I also advise that the couple work more on their communication skills. Explaining to each other what they expect or would like from their relationship.

"Should the couple not see a future for this marriage, the couple should discuss how they will be going forth in terms of their child's living arrangements," he concludes. 

What would you advise a friend in this situation to do? Tell us here.

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