Now that the rumours about dancer and R&B star Teyana Taylor and her husband Iman Shumpert have settled, let’s talk about how outrageous the internet handled this whole issue.
It took a picture of a mother and her baby, a heart eyes emoji and Teyana’s deleted Instagram account for social media users to go wild with a conjured story of the couple having a threesome with Alby Rydes, the mother of the child, resulting in her being pregnant with Iman’s child.
This all resulted in some people mocking Teyana for choosing this lifestyle with her husband (but obviously the husband was seen as justified for wanting the same), while others claimed moral high ground. And as it went, people took us through why Teyana deserved the outcome:
My friend just called threesomes “supervised cheating” and I am crying.— Tatianna (@TatiannaMonae) January 21, 2019
Teyana has long been judged for being vocal about her and her husband’s choices in the bedroom, and in one interview they discuss these which have became material for people to mock the singer and dancer (again Iman is exempt from said mockery).
People's sexual preferences and fantasies ran the gamut so it's especially surprising coming from South Africans who are active users of liberal sex websites. According to Pornhub’s 2018 Year in Review report, South Africa had the second most women consuming pornography on the site compared to the rest of the world and the site, as Business Insider reports, had 33.5 billion visits worldwide in 2018.
So why the conservatism?
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Some people didn’t so much express shock at details of the relationship's mechanics but more so that the couple was married and still chose these sexual preferences.
According to Ilze Alberts, a relationship psychologist and life strategist, unorthodox marriages like that of Teyana and Iman are more common than people think.
She says these kinds of unorthodox marriages and relationships require self-confidence, self-assurance and a sense of safety in the marriage otherwise it will not work.
It’s strange to see that some people are seeing Teyana and Iman’s stance as the opposite, one of insecurity and jealousy.
Ilze says such relationships actually need to be handled with “emotional intelligence, self-confidence and [for the couple] to stand up for what they believe in” because the couple will have fingers pointed at them, especially if the format of their relationship is publicly known.
As it would be expected, all the parties involved swiftly responded to the rumours circulating.
1. I’ve never seen/touched that girl in my life. 2. My page is gone because I’m upset at @defjam for not dropping my damn “WTP” video on time, per usual. 3. It’s really sad that lies are entertained so much than the truth. 4. Iman is not dumb he know I’d kill him ?? End of story. https://t.co/FCdG0c1VIr— TEYANA M.J. SHUMPERT (@TEYANATAYLOR) January 21, 2019
Placing this rumour aside, many people have been judgmental about how Teyana and Iman have been living out their marriage in public. It does lead one to think this rumour gained momentum because people wanted it to be true so badly as punishment on Teyana for even daring to be liberal with her sexuality (again Iman being exempt).
Ilze says: “I think in this time and age it is important for people to learn to be more accepting of each other, to learn that we’re not all doing things the same way. As many people there are, there are as many kinds of relationships – as long as the partners are in agreement and support each other and see that it’s good for them.”
Honestly, it’s 2019.