Woman finds her long-lost brother on a dating app

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An illustration. Photo: Getty Images
An illustration. Photo: Getty Images
  • A recent study has found that couples are more likely to meet a romantic partner online than through personal connections.  
  • Letti* prefers using dating apps because they are convenient and efficient for her.
  • But, a dating app also brought her closer to her long lost brother. This is her story. 

Meeting online has become the new normal and in a new study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Rosenfeld found that heterosexual couples are more likely to meet a romantic partner online than through personal contacts and connections. 

Since 1940, traditional ways of meeting partners – through family, in church and in the neighbourhood have all been in decline, Rosenfeld said. 

READ MORE | Dating apps result in happy long-term relationships 

However, for Letti* 29, a dating app brought her closer to her long lost brother. This is her story:

I’ve always liked the concept of dating apps – they’re convenient, efficient and are straight to the point. The traditional route of meeting someone is in my opinion outdated and I’ve always been an avid online dating app user. I’ve met different types of people, and some have even become really good friends and one is even a business partner. I’ve always viewed them as a means of networking and not just trying to find love.  

I’ve had romantic relationships through the apps and some were toxic, but for the most part it’s been a good ride.

I usually take breaks from dating apps though, it can get consuming, and I do so when I’m either dating someone, in a serious talking stage or when life just gets hectic. 

I recently went back after a four-month hiatus and I declined a few date offers from potentials. I wasn’t in the space to chat about my favourite Netflix show over a glass of gin or coffee, you know. But when I matched with this one individual – it felt different. It felt like I had known this person and our conversations from the app to WhatsApp were organic and it just felt easy. We were similar but yet so different. 

READ MORE | 'I only go on first dates if it's a holiday getaway and I've been on 4 since Covid, here's why' 

Conversating with him was always so refreshing. As we communicated more and got to know each other a bit better, we opened up about our families and past traumas. This led to discovering that we both have absent fathers, who only resurface when they need something from us or our mothers. 

After opening up about our fathers, so many things were similar about our situation - we both knew we had step-siblings, an absent father but what we weren’t expecting was to find out that we share a father. The giveaway was how we both said at the same time that he even recently became a father to twins. We even showed one another his picture, and that just confirmed everything.

I always knew I had a stepbrother who was born in the same year as me. When he would resurface in my life, he would tell me about our similarities and how we would get along but I just never thought it would happen in this manner. Everything started to make sense – we connected instantly because we are siblings.

READ MORE | 'Vaccinated people get 14% more matches' - Dating apps launch new features to encourage vaccinations 

Things were a bit awkward cause we developed feelings for another, and the mental shift from a non-platonic relationship to siblings was quite difficult. I kept on asking myself ‘does this mean, I didn’t meet the love of my life I just met my long lost brother?’. We are still trying to navigate this sudden change and new situation by taking it one day at a time.

We both recently told our families after confirming it with our father and some family members have found it to be funny, while others are too confused about it. Personally, it's still confusing and yes, I’m happy to have found my brother but I’m gutted that this isn’t the person I would’ve ideally wanted to spend the rest of my life with as a partner.

*Not her real name

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