- Some weeks ago, Niktya Moreno, originally from London, learnt about her ex-partner, Robert Palmer's, infidelity from a New York Times wedding announcement.
- It baffled Nikyta as, according to her, she was married to Robert in January 2017, while the article said Robert and his new wife, met in January 2017 at a gym.
- Nikyta was not aware of the article until friends and family told her about it and warned her not to read it.
Nikyta reportedly said she and Palmer separated in late March of 2017, before officially divorcing in January 2018, but she “never exactly understood why.”
They also met at a gym in the summer of 2013, moved in together a few months later and married in a civil ceremony in December 2015. But, as they planned for a bigger wedding ceremony to take place in 2017 in Robert’s hometown of Dallas, he became distant.
Nykita tells New York Post that she had gone to stay with a friend after some domestic tension shortly before their wedding celebration. “When I came back, he said he wanted a divorce. It was like a light switch turned off. He stopped communicating with me and refused to go to therapy. I wondered if he had a medical issue that had changed his personality,” Nykita says.
“Robert publicly admitted that he dated this woman while we were married - the details of his infidelity laid out on the page. When I put their presentation next to the truth, it was like one of those reality-versus-Instagram memes come to life.”
The announcement also said that Robert had never been married. However, The Times later issued the correction: “An earlier version of this article misstated the previous marital status of the groom, Robert Palmer. Mr Palmer had previously been married.”
Psychologist, Paula Quinsee, who is also a relationship expert says infidelity can be a complex topic as there are different types of infidelity, for example, emotional or sexual.
"Usually, an affair is a symptom of another underlying issue in the relationship that was going on long before the affair came about."
Paula also believes in situations like this, it's important to forgive. In an article on her site, the psychologist says, "When we don’t get the closure we need, it can keep us stuck in the past for a lifetime, resulting in lots of resentment, unexpressed anger (pain) and emotional turmoil."
She says forgiveness involves the following elements:
- Accepting what happened – you can’t go back and change it (this is different to condoning what happened).
- Accepting how it’s made you feel – angry, hurt, upset etc.
- Expressing it – sharing with the other person what they did, how it made you feel and putting down boundaries so it does not happen again.
- Moving forward – getting the closure you need for yourself to move on (an apology, clarity, understanding etc).
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