'How do I have sex when I'm on top?'


A reader asks: I’m 40 years old and my problem is that, when I have sex with my wife, it doesn’t last for more than two minutes. I ejaculate very early. I’m worried because it seems like she’s not satisfied or doesn’t get to climax, but doesn’t ever complain. Is this normal, Jade? Besides that, it’s also difficult for me to go for two rounds. Please help me.

Jade answers: Masturbation is used as a way to treat a lot of sexual dysfunction. Try masturbating on your own before you are intimate with your wife and see if you last for longer. It wouldn’t hurt to consult your doctor if my suggestion doesn’t work.

As far as pleasing your wife goes, focus on foreplay to ensure she climaxes. Intimacy and sex are not limited to penetration.

Reader: As a woman, I want to be confident and sexy and be on top when we’re having sex. But when I get on top, I lose confidence and feel silly. I don’t know how to move my body on top of my man. How does one have sex when you’re on top as a woman? I always just want to lie there and let him do the work.

Answer: There’s no right or wrong way to have sex. If it feels good, then it’s right. Try asking him how he likes it. You’ll drive him wild by doing squats on top of him with him penetrating you. This can get exhausting, so mix it up. Reverse cowgirl is another option you can try out.

Most importantly, believe in your sexiness and give yourself permission to take charge of your sexual experiences.

Reader: My boyfriend and I always do the same positions during sex. I’m happy, but want to spice things up. Which positions do you recommend?

Answer: There are sex position cards available at any decent adult store. They come in a pack like playing cards, so shuffle them and then you can each pick one or two cards and try out the positions depicted on them.

I use them to keep things interesting.

Reader: How do I know if I have erectile dysfunction?

Answer: If you’re unable to sustain an erection for long enough and it is not strong enough for penetration, you may have some form of erectile dysfunction.

This can be caused by numerous things, from excessive drinking, high stress levels to weak penile tissue, and every case needs to be assessed individually.

I suggest you consult your doctor to identify the cause. In this way, a solution in terms of treatment would be suited to your situation.


Do you have a question for Jade?

SMS the keyword SEX and your question to 35697. You can also email us at trending@citypress.co.za. SMSes cost R1.50. Please include your name and province

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