Let’s assume for the sake of this short ‘how to’ that when I talk about ‘kink’ I talk about it in very broad terms as something that’s out of your usual realm of sexual expression.
See, usually when we talk about kink, people think it’s all floggers and dungeons, but it’s really relative to whatever your experience is. For example, if the only position you’ve ever tried is missionary, flipping open the Kama Sutra is going to be wildly kinky for you.
So, where to start?
I usually advise people to just open their mouth and say what they want and I believe that, ultimately, this is always going to be the best course of action. But if you’re not so practiced with verbalising your desires, there are ways that can help support this conversation.
Show and tell:
Was there an erotic picture that turned you on? A piece in a movie or show that did it for you? Did a character do or say something that got you hot under the collar? Use this as a springboard into the conversation.