Screw you! I'm moving to Joburg.

Please give me a moment to vent.

Did you hear that the Western Cape Liquor Board passed a law that prohibits the selling of booze after 6 on weekdays and completely on Sundays?

This means, if you happen to reside in the Western Cape, you won’t ever be able to buy a bottle of wine after work again. From April you’ll have to go to the liquor store in your lunch hour. Classy.

And if you think you might ever have an impromptu party again I suggest you learn how to brew moonshine because you won’t be able to buy legal booze

If you run out of wine during a Sunday lunch, or if you forgot to buy brandy to flambé your crepes, tough luck, because the Western Cape Liquor Board doesn’t trust you with alcohol on a Sunday.

And get this: you are not allowed to have more than 200 bottles of alcohol at your house. For whatever reason. So if you’re hosting a 50th birthday party, or if you have leftover wine from a wedding like one poor Food24 reader, the po-po can legally come knocking on your door and confiscate your happy juice. 

You also won’t be allowed to drink in any vehicle. Even if you’re not driving! And never at school functions – doesn’t matter if it’s on school premises or not. I think that one makes the least sense of them all. 

I don’t get it. Of course I know alcoholism is a debilitating disease that leads to a plethora of social ills. But alcoholics need treatment, not silly little rules that will curb their drinking. If an addict needs a fix they will get it. How else do you explain all the thousands of people addicted to illegal drugs?

So why are healthy, law-abiding people being punished? Surely it’s simple enough? If you don’t want to buy alcohol on a Sunday, THEN DON’T BUY IT.

The same goes for this whole furore over Top TV wanting to broadcast porn. If you don’t want to watch porn, then don’t buy the freaking channel.

How will we be able to keep on rocking in the free world if government thinks it’s their duty to tell us when we can buy booze?

Screw that. It’s almost enough to make me move to Jozi.

Follow Lili on Twitter.

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