My boyfriend's mother keeps telling me I'm fat whenever we go and visit her

A woman smiles through the pain her boyfriend's mother causes her. Credit: Pexels
A woman smiles through the pain her boyfriend's mother causes her. Credit: Pexels

Twenty-seven-year old Thando has had enough with her boyfriend's mother who's been doing everything to make her feel insecure about her weight. According to Thando, her boyfriend's mother has resented her ever since she first started dating her partner six years ago.

Read what she has to say below.

I met Mark while we were both studying. We quickly became close and a relationship had formed. While I was never open to the whole interracial relationship thing, Mark was the perfect gentleman and it was hard to let old beliefs stand in the way of trying something different.

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Being in an interracial relationship came with a lot of challenges, such as language barriers, different traditions, beliefs and customs - even wearing a weave was something I had to explain to him (for the longest time he had thought a wig was my natural hair).

All these however, were learning curves for both of us and I knew we'd be okay - that is until I had to meet my 'in laws', something I had dreaded from the beginning.

I've always felt nervous because I definitely wanted to make the best possible impression.

After I had pushed meeting his parents as far away for as long as I could, there were no more excuses I could make and soon found myself sitting in front of a middle aged white couple fiddling nervously with my fingers.

READ MORE: 4 things you need to know before marrying a foreigner

Although everything was very polite and efforts were made to make the day as pleasant as possible, there was something about the way his mom looked at me that was just offish. To avoid discord, I politely ignored what I told myself was nothing and went about my day.

My worst fears were realised when I was told I had to change the shorts I was wearing while at a resort with his family. Apparently his mom had thought they were "inappropriate". I did what I was told and yet again tried to shrug of whatever negative vibe I was sensing.

It was not until it happened again when I knew she had definitely had an issue with me. As I was helping myself to some food she made a comment about how much a lady should be eating. I was terribly upset but managed to continue to fake a smile.

READ MORE: Why I left my fiancé after his obsession with his mother became unbearable

That evening I spoke to Mark again and he once again told me that I was seeing things. He was certain his mom didn't mean any harm. 

The next thing that happened even he couldn't deny was downright disrespectful.

While visiting his parents for a family lunch she handed me a magazine that had "the best advice for weight loss". She then started speaking about different diets that had helped her when she was gaining "too much" weight.

Clearly she thought that I was fat. But still, was it honestly her place to make me feel bad about myself?

READ MORE: Ways to deal with a controlling mother-in-law

Soon I would eat as little as possible whenever we were around her. I'd also try to find ways to look slimmer and hated feeling like she disapproved of her son's choice for a partner so I tried my best to live up to her standards.

The last straw for me was when she started sending me clippings of the women she expected me to look like, women I would never be. I've since stopped trying to form a relationship with her and don't go to any of their family occasions.

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