You’ll regret not getting married ‘properly’ – and other wedding advice you don’t need

A happy and rebellious couple on the beach.
A happy and rebellious couple on the beach.

A friend and I were recently chatting about her up and coming wedding. 

She and her partner have decided to forego having a big wedding because they want to have an epic honeymoon at a dream destination where they will also get to attend an event they’ve dreamed of attending for years.

They’re opting to go to home affairs and thought that raising funds for their honeymoon would be a better route to go since it’s not about the wedding and more about the marriage for them anyway.

Unfortunately, ever since people found out, both her and her partner have been hearing advice on “how they will regret not getting married properly” (as if getting married at home affairs is any less valid than having a lavish ceremony), how “it’s better to be surrounded by family”, etc. etc.

Basically, everyone wants them to have everyone else’s version of what makes a dream wedding, not taking into account that they want a small and relatively stress-free affair that costs less because it would mean they’d save up more for what they ultimately really want: the honeymoon of a lifetime. recently featured a piece on unsolicited advice and how to turn it into a win/win situation – in other words, by somehow including them in the process, but I say no.

Yes, it’s nice that people are so excited for your wedding that they can’t help but want to feel part of it in some way, but it’s your wedding day and you have the final say in how you want to have your wedding – if you even want to have one. 

It’s clear that planning for your nuptials or being part of a wedding party does not come without its share of drama - there’s always a chance that something will go wrong. 

Here are a list of other potential dilemmas you could face and how to deal with them:

1. You regret signing up to be a bridesmaid

This one’s tricky, because it depends on a number of factors.

Are your second-thoughts fleeting or is it something that has been brewing for a while? Is it close to the wedding date? (If that’s the case then you should have backed out long time ago and doing so now – short of a genuine emergency – is going to make you look selfish).

Or were you perhaps unprepared for the amount of costs that are involved?

Weddings are, understandably, an expensive affair, so if you are saying ‘yes’ to being someone’s bridesmaid, it’s a commitment you need to see through to the end. That said, if you really do feel that you’re no longer up to the task, the best policy is always to be open and upfront. The earlier, the better, because it gives the bride-to-be a chance to at least find a replacement.

READ MORE: Why you should think twice before you say yes to being a bridesmaid

2. Someone invites you to her wedding, but you’re not sure if you can invite her to yours

Well, it depends on how close a friend you are and your wedding budget.

The general consensus when it comes to wedding invites is that you should invite whoever you want, because it is YOUR wedding. But theoretically speaking, it’s easier said than done.

If you’re on a budget and you’re keeping your guest list relatively small, there’s no reason why your friend wouldn’t understand.

WATCH: 5 bridal party dilemmas solved

3. Your future mother-in-law is being pushy and interfering

According to, one of the best ways to ensure that you get on with your future parentals is to set boundaries from the beginning.

If your mother-in-law to be is trying to give her opinion on anything and everything relating to your wedding plans, chances are that she could be trying to overcompensate because she’s feeling excluded.

Make her feel like she’s part of your big day by including her in small tasks you can entrust her with. You’re of course not obligated to, but it is a great opportunity to cement and solidify your relationship with your prospective mother-in-law.

READ MORE: 5 things you need to stop spending money on for your wedding day

4. You’ve signed a contract with a wedding vendor, but are no longer happy with their services

Before you say anything, the most important thing you should do is to ensure that there is a cancellation clause within the contract that you signed. Also, make sure that you’ve kept all communication from the vendor in question, just in case you need it to fall back on. suggests that it’s always a good idea to put your cancellation in writing and to be as upfront about it (without being impolite) as possible.

Remember you are entitled to the best service for your big day, so the sooner you can move on with your wedding plans, the better.

Did you encounter any difficulties when you were planning your wedding? How did you deal with the issues that cropped up? Share your stories with us and we could feature it in a future article.

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