- A bride-to-be has revealed a difficult predicament she's found herself in with one of her bridesmaids since the bridesmaid dress she received no longer fits and she's demanding a replacement.
- The bride-to-be bought dresses for all the bridesmaids in 2019.
- Now the bridesmaid has accused the bride-to-be of fat-shaming her.
Even though weddings are expensive, some brides take it upon themselves to pay the expenses of their bridal party.
Sharing her story on Reddit, a bride-to-be explained that she bought bridesmaid dresses for her three close friends back in 2019, ahead of her planned wedding in 2020.
The wedding was later postponed to 2022 because of the pandemic, and this resulted in one of the bridesmaids demanding the bride-to-be buy her another dress for the wedding as she no longer fits in the original one.
"I got engaged in late 2018 and planned to get married in mid-2020. Due to world events, the wedding was rescheduled to May this year. I invited 3 close friends and my soon-to-be SIL [sister-in-law] to be in my wedding party and paid for their dresses as well as any other associated costs," she wrote.
Between 2019, when bridesmaid dresses were purchased, and now, one bridesmaid, 'Jane', had put on significant weight. But the bride-to-be share that in 2021, she started a fitness journey to get back to her original weight.
"In February 2022, Jane came to me and told me she couldn't fit into her bridesmaid dress and she'd need a bigger dress.
"Since it'd been 2 years since purchasing the dress, it obviously couldn't be returned. She gave it back since, but the value had significantly decreased, especially since the store itself now discounted the dress. FYI, The bridesmaid dresses weren't identical. We went with dresses that went well together/had a similar 'vibe'."
She went to say that she spoke to Jane and offered to give her any money she made from selling the dress to go towards a new one - but it wouldn't be the full amount.
"She got upset and told me it wasn't her fault she gained weight and couldn't fit into the dress anymore, and since I was the bride, I should pay for a new dress. I told her that it wasn't personal and I'd have the same response for anyone else.
"I told her it didn't have to be expensive, just had to fit the vibe or be somewhat similar to the old dress."
Jane did not take it too well and accused the bride of "fat-shaming" her.
"She said I was being an awful friend and shaming her for her weight. She said she couldn't afford a new dress and said I had to pay for her dress or she couldn't be at my wedding. I told her I couldn't pay more than I was offering for a new dress, and I understood that she couldn't be a bridesmaid, and I hoped she'd be able to make it to the wedding as a guest.
"I tried wrapping it up, but she wouldn't leave. She teared up and called me cheap for not paying for a bridesmaid dress since I'd paid for everyone else's and that if I really wanted 'my friend' there, I'd actually make an effort and brought up how much we were spending for our wedding and how 'an extra small purchase would be nothing'."
The bride-to-be admitted that the altercation left "upset".
"I told her that if she didn't want to buy a new dress, the only other options were to not come or find a way to fit into the old dress. She broke down crying and ran out and later told others in the bridal party that I'd told her that if she didn't lose weight, I was going to kick her out of the bridal party."
"Thankfully, I'd already talked to them before this, and they didn't believe it, but now I'm getting pressure to buy her a new dress so we can just move on and get over it. I feel like, at this point, I'm unsure if I'm just being stubborn and TA, sticking to my decision and having a backbone, or both.”
Fellow Reddit users thought the bride was nice for buying the dresses in the first place.
One user commented: "I've been in a few weddings and never had the bride purchase our dresses - you're amazingly generous! It sucks your wedding got postponed and she gained weight, but she's lucky they weren't identical and she could find another option."
"And I was ready to come for you. You gave her multiple options. Even offering to sell the dress and give her the money, and that's IF it sold. She's not being reasonable. While there is no blame game to be played with her gaining weight, it's not realistic for you to pay for ANOTHER dress. As bad as she may feel, if I were in her position I'd have taken your offer of using the proceeds from the first to put towards a second," commented another.
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