‘My mother-in-law wants me to wear her old wedding dress and I'm scared of upsetting her by refusing'

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Illustration photo by Getty Images
Illustration photo by Getty Images
  • A bride-to-be is scared of breaking her mother-in-law's heart by refusing to wear her old wedding dress.
  • Her mother-in-law says it is tradition to pass down the wedding dress.
  • The bride-to-be gave the wedding dress a try, but it was not what she wanted.


Many brides preserve their gowns to pass down to their daughters. But what happens if you only have sons? Do you ask your daughter-in-law to wear your dress?

A bride-to-be is conflicted after her mother-in-law asked her to wear her old wedding dress because it’s their family tradition.

Sharing her story on Reddit, she explained that her husband understands that she wants her own wedding dress, but her mother-in-law says it is tradition to pass down her dress.

“My husband and I are having our reception soon. We got engaged in 2019 and wanted to have our wedding in 2020, but the world ended! We got married privately, but we’re having our reception in the fall later this year,” the bride-to-be shares.

“I’ve always dreamed of having my wedding dress, and my husband understands it’s non-negotiable for me. I have been browsing dresses online and finally decided to take the plunge.”

READ MORE | ‘I broke up with him after his mom paid everyone’s first-class flights to a holiday, except mine’

The bride-to-be wrote that she has no siblings, and her parents have passed away, so she extended an invite to her mother-in-law.

“My mother-in-law told me it was a tradition to wear their mom’s wedding dress, and there was no need to buy a dress as I could wear hers. I decided to give it a shot, and it is a HIDEOUS dress. It’s such an outdated wedding dress,” she shares.

“I wanted a chic mermaid-style dress, strapless, something to show myself off in. In this, I feel like a frilly, pudgy marshmallow, and that’s putting it nicely. I hate it. Entirely. But I walked out in it, and my mother-in-law got teary-eyed and told me how beautiful I looked.

“I HATE the dress, but I love her, and I feel I might break her heart if I don’t wear it. My husband says I should tell her, it’ll probably hurt her feelings, but it’s my wedding.”

READ MORE | Mother-in-law drama? There are ways to deal with this challenging relationship

Reddit users agree that she should tell her mother-in-law the truth. One user commented: “Be gentle about it, but tell her you won't be wearing it. You could even say, ‘this isn't the dress I pictured getting married in but thank you for letting me be a part of this tradition!’

“As others have suggested, maybe do a photoshoot of you in the dress with MIL and SIL. Make it a ‘Women of the family’ shoot, and then wear the dress you want for your celebration.”

Another commented: “It's your wedding and your decision. Tell her you really appreciate the offer, but you had your heart set on a different style and don't feel like hers flatters your figure.”

What would you do if you were on the receiving end of that request? Tell us here.

Source: Reddit

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