- The word "Bridezilla" is overused to describe women who are about to get married, many of whom may be seen as unreasonable for voicing their legitimate concerns.
- In her experience, wedding planner, Theresa Ashley says brides are often unhappy because they are anxious and want their special day to be perfect.
- She recommends ways to release stress and a healthy balanced diet to help with the frustrations.
Wedding Planner Theresa Ashley has seen it all, from being sworn at to enduring tantrums and confrontations from angry and frustrated brides.
Sharing her experience with unhappy and difficult brides on Quora, she says, "One [bride] actually thought that by constantly acting like a bridezilla, she would get her way. Two months before the wedding, she called all the vendors, including me, and swore at us. All of us cancelled our services. In our contracts, we have a behavioral clause. Basically, if you are constantly swearing at us, throwing tantrums, or acting out, we are allowed to break the contract. Yes, I do document everything too," says Theresa.
Another unhappy bride once stormed into Theresa's office, threw a massive tantrum. "When I told her I didn't have time for her behavior, she left and never came back," says the wedding planner.
The tantrum was related to quotations for her wedding.
"I learned hard and fast that if a person tries to use tantrums to get their way (and it happens), every time something doesn't go their way a tantrum will happen. So I do what I can to nip it in the bud," says the planner.
Her years of experience have made her come up with a theory of her own.
The stressed out brides
"Bridezilla is one of those terms that gets tossed out when we see a bride having a tough day. I have seen brides get upset about what seems to be the smallest of details. Each and every bride that I work for and with is special and each has their most important detail that they want to be perfect," says Theressa.
"The other thing I need to state clearly, is that getting married is stressful. During this time, having and maintaining healthy habits is important. Most' bridezilla' moments I have seen happen are due to stress and low blood sugar levels."
She says what is seen as being difficult is usually due to a combination of stress and not eating right.
"Majority of the time, once these two items were handled properly, the bride would calm down," she says.
Theresa does concede that there are some people who are outright dramatic and spoilt - and it's a human thing, not necessarily a bride thing. In a separate post, also on Quora, Theresa writes about an incident where she dropped a client for this very reason.
"One day I heard the door open to the office and I popped my head out while the receptionist was explaining our policy of walk-in clients. I noticed that it was the bride, groom, and both sets of parents. I politely introduced myself and said that if they were willing to wait a few minutes while I finished with my current clients, I would be more than happy to sit down and talk to them," shares Theresa.
"I went back to my current clients and finished what business I had with them. As I walked them out I noticed the bride was crying and I heard her say, 'But don't they know who WE are?'
Theresa ignored it and went back to her office to grab my notepad and pen.
"After I explained how much our services cost, I explained how we worked. Then I asked the number one question that every person should have an answer to, How much is your budget? The reply still haunts me to this day: 'Whatever our daughter wants, she will have for this wedding.'"
In the meantime Theresa found out more details about both families. Both fathers were football stars”and both mothers were cheerleaders. The fathers had partnered up to open a new car dealership and all thought that they were the most popular and powerful in their town.
Theresa says she hardly ever takes work home but the list of demands for this wedding needed extra attention, so she did all the calculations when she got home. It went up to $1,2 million (almost R18 million). The next day, she took the list over to the bride's father, and after he saw the amount, he was in shock but they agreed to pay $200 000 dollars (R3 million) total for the wedding.
"The bride ended up having a complete meltdown and tantrum. Throughout the time leading up to this wedding, the bride's behavior became worse. Full on bridezilla. Completely unreasonable behavior. She wouldn't understand that our business and the others didn't just have her as a client, and that we couldn't drop everything just for her. Finally two months before her wedding it came to a showdown," says Theresa.
That morning while Theresa was dealing with other clients' weddings, the bride and her family came in and demanded attention, which resulted in a collective screaming at the receptionist.
Theresa had I finally had enough. "They really pissed me off. I slammed the door to my office and right there in the reception area I lit into them. I started out by calling the bride the worst client I ever had. Then I said that I didn't care if they thought that the three of them were the most popular and powerful in their little town. They were not big fishes in the grand scheme of things. I then told them, 'If you don't get your f*****g spoiled a***s out of my office, I'm gonna call the cops!'"
Theresa then watched them leave and called her boss to let her know what happened. Her reply? “Aww, I wish I was there too!”
Do you think Theresa should should have stomached the tantrums so that her company didn't lose the business? Tell us here.