10 Women Who Are Not Ready For Marriage – But Think They Are

2014-11-28 07:19

I have met a lot of beautiful women who think they are ready for marriage; they are in their late 20s or even 30s, have prayed and fasted for years, have a good job, are educated, loving and have read all the books there are on dating, relationship and marriage. But guess what? Even then, some of them are not yet ready for marriage!

Just to set the record straight, I am not saying women should be perfect before getting married. I am an imperfect husband whois married to an imperfect wife, but together we’re dedicated to personal and character growth, working on our blind spots and getting rid of every selfishness. We are not content with our weaknesses. That’s part of what it takes to get married,ladies.

My friend Yeta Malumo said Some women always think they are a prize waiting to be claimed when the truth is very different and unfortunately many of these ladies are in church”.

So to help you cross-check your lifestyle, choices and character as you prepare for marriage, I decided to write this article. Here are 10 women who I think are not ready to get married – even though they constantly say they are:

1. BLINDED BUSI: She is the woman that embraces the unholy trinity, “me, myself and I”. The focus is always on her; a man will complete me, a man will take care of my financial needs, a man will have to accept me the way I am, etc. Busi is so blinded by her selfishness, she thinks it’s normal. Maybe her social or educational background is playing a role in making her blind. The sooner Busi sheds her blindness the better she can learn how to show selfless love. Let the blind see!

2. DOMINATING DOMINIQUE: Her policy is that the man must wear the “skirt” and she wears the pants. Perhaps you know this as “petticoat government”. It is a total breakdown of biblical hierarchy and is the result of a distorted view on the roles of man and woman. She cringes or frowns, and shakes her head when she hears the word “submission”. She is normally not happy when it comes to submission because she wants to be submitted to. She will tell you that she just wants what she wants. Don’t confuse this to mean she has good standards. Standards that are not rooted in genuine love will lead to a relationship completely lacking affection. Beware of Dominating Dominique because she is also manipulative. She will make you think she is submitted when in fact, she is a puppet master and is pulling all the strings to make you bend to her will!

3. HOLY HLONI: I also call this woman, ‘Church Girl’. She speaks the “Christianese” language perfectly and knows how to quote scriptures for almost every situation. She is ‘super holy’ and claims to be the only one whom God really speaks to. She understands and applies the letter of the law but does not season it with mercy and grace. She aggressively argues her convictions and thinks anyone else who does not do the same is a weak Christian. Her focus is sin and not the love of God. She condemns everything and everyone, forgetting that she is and will never be perfect. Holy Hloni is so serious in everything and not even the comedian Trevor Noah can make her laugh, as if it’s unholy to smile. I don’t know a man who would willingly marry her.

4. TROPHY THEMBI: She is the It Girl so she takes advantage of men because they love her perfect curves. I am not saying you shouldn’t be attractive but what more do you have to offer? Externally she knows how to attract men but inside, she has nothing that would make a man want to marry her. Like a floating trophy, she goes to whoever ‘wins the league’ that season. Trophy Thembi needs to do some introspection and build her spirit and soul if she really wants to get married.

5. PROUD PENNY: She always wants to have all the material things she can get her hands on, just to impress her friends, family and colleagues.  She loves comparing herself with others because her image is solely tied to how she looks. She buys what she doesn’t need, with money that isn’t hers to impress people she doesn’t like. She has the best car, biggest house, wears only Jimmy Choo, Dolce & Gabbana and other top brands. She doesn’t care if her man is struggling financially and will not hesitate to dump him if he can’t keep up with her demands.

6. CHATTY CHICHI: She is like a social media network, connecting people and always has something to say about everyone and everything. She regularly critiques negatively without objectively. Let’s just say she has verbal diarrhoea. She knows how to coax your secrets out and make you believe she will never tell anyone, but watch out for her! If she is telling you about everyone, she is probably telling them about you.

7. ADDICTED ANDISWA: She is one of those women that made mistakes in the past and just can’t let go of it. Instead of looking into the future, she keeps replaying the pains of the past, blaming herself and everybody for her condition. Due to that, she indulges a lot in food, drugs, alcohol and shopping in an attempt to isolate herself from the pains of her past. Unfortunately no man can help her if she can’t help herself.

8. BROKE BRENDA: She is an expert in spending borrowed money – bank money, sisters’ money, friends’ money, etc. Budgeting is not part of her vocabulary at all. Her financial status and spending scares men off, because a man also looks for a woman with healthy financial sense.

9. LYING LILLY: She is an expert in lying. She lies with no restraint to family, friends and colleagues. Why should a man trust her enough to marry her? Lying Lilly thinks lying is all about outsmarting everyone, so honesty and transparency are not part of her reality. She is probably lying to herself about her desire to get married.

10. LAZY LERATO: She has a very unhealthy love for herself and others. Her lazy attitude has turned her car into a bin and her house into a very dirty and filthy environment. She doesn’t take care of herself enough to convince a man she can take care of both of them. Her level of laziness is alarming.

Honestly, I don’t expect a woman to be perfect but to do her best to prepare for meeting Mr. Right. I meet a lot of sad, lonely and hopeless single women regularly and pray to see them get hitched soon. Make it easy for yourself and future husband and keep working on yourself while waiting for your Boaz!

Important: All the names mentioned on this list are not associated with a person I personally know or have interacted with.

Do you have any more reasons why some women are not ready for marriage?

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