A black female doctor needs a man too

2015-06-23 17:28

Fact or not, general knowledge tells us that many a persons would, given an opportunity, pursue medical career to become doctors. Being a doctor has, for donkey years, been perceived and viewed as a prestigious profession of all. Having been a woman, black, and a doctor meant (or still does mean?) you've reached the heights of every black parent's dream for their daughters.

To date, many parents teach their daughters that they should study hard and and establish a good career, then get married (most likely to a "good man").

Ironically, though, a vast majority of black female doctors seem to be struggling so badly with relationships, by far more than any other profession. A lot of them do remain unmarried (shouldn't I, perhaps, use the word SINGLE?) for their entire miserable lives... whether by choice or not.

Speaking to a number of female colleagues, I had to try and find out what might have gone wrong with these bunch of academically ripe female crème de la crème. Some of the interviewee are just free agents, others are single mothers or divorcees, while others are in some relationships that are "just not working".

Amongst many of their different opinions, black female doctors fail in the relationships for almost similar reasons:

They don't know exactly what they want.

Black female doctors want men "who are their types or are better than them". Type? Better? Hayibo! Does this refer to academic qualifications? Or does it refer to the salary? Or maybe it refers to the man's social status? Or perhaps the position at work? Well, my female colleagues couldn't clear my confusion.

It all began in the beginning.

In their first few years of study in medical school,female medical students overlook their fellow male classmates. They prefer to date more senior students, whose commitments most probably lie somewhere else, and are likely to dump them soon after taking the Hippocratic Oath, and immediately after being infected by internitis (a highly contagious disease that only affects newly qualified male doctors, leading to some weird grandiose behaviour). It happened before, it is happening now, it will happen tomorrow.

We expect too much from them.

The society puts too much pressure on poor black female doctors. People expect to see female doctors dating or marrying men of certain class. This makes these ladies to think twice before dating some of us, men of lower class. Unfortunately, they end up finding none.

They believe they owe it to their families.

Black female doctors believe that changing your surname to that of your husband actually strips your family off their medical pride. They would hardly change their surnames, and the few that do would rather go for a double-barrel surname. Well, men hate that with passion, I kid you not.

Apparently, men have inferiority complex.

Folks, please pursue these ladies. I'm reliably told that many men find it very difficult to approach a female doctor. Unfortunately, these ladies say they just can't start the process for you. Their pride also doesn't allow them to approach men "of lower status"... Lest you think she is a reject.

They want challenge.

Black female doctors say they want a man who will challenge them in all spheres. A man who makes decisions. A man who is a "go-getter". A man whose ambition is to reach to the top. But the question is: Who's that man? Where to get him?

They are independent feminists.

Many black female doctors believe that they actually need no man in their lives. They believe they can multi-task in taking care of their kids, the household, the work, and every part of their social being. Well, sometimes multi-tasking might also mean messing up and screwing up at the same time.

Being that as it may, there are still few happily married black female doctors, though. How I so much wish they can share their secrets with their colleagues.

But what do I really know? After all, I'm just yet another single black male doctor.

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2010-11-21 18:15

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