Age and Irony

2014-04-25 07:23

I woke up last week to singing, presents and breakfast in bed. I also woke up to the terrifying realisation that my twenties were as over as the Stormers chance to win the Super Rugby competition.

My thirties had arrived; my thirties had arrived like a car guard trolling Long Street, emerging silently from the shadows waving me out of my parking spot of the last ten years.

I thought if I ignored my thirties, it would somehow ignore me. On my way to work my gran called to wish me happy birthday:

“Happy birthday my boy,” she grated with her granny voice.

“Thanks gran”

“You know, when I was thirty I had four kids…”

I swallowed my cellphone; in fact I swallowed half of the N2.

Jeez gran, I thought to myself, what were you trying to do, start a career?

Anyway, the day moved along, life as normal I suppose. My best friend from Gauteng flew down with his beautiful daughter, he turned thirty a few months ago but it didn’t seem bother him much, actually he is kinda blasé about everything, so he’s not really a good example.

My girlfriend pulled out all the stops and even got the rugby playing bodybuilder type waiters at the Toad and Josephine to sing for me – cake, champagne, balloons, the whole shebang.

The night before I had decided to spend my birthday dinner drowning my almost middle aged sorrows whilst trying to happily celebrate a milestone. It turned out a little different and I only had a beer or two and a glass of champagne. I did have one of the best nights of my life though.

Later that evening, a few hours into my second day of thirty, the god of irony woke me up with the most excruciating pain in my wrist. Gout! For the first time in my life I get gout, hardly 24 hours into my thirties.

It was a pain like I had never felt before. As if someone had decided my wrist provided the perfect birthplace for setting bone on fire.

I snapped a few painkillers, drank about a gallon of water, flushed my toe under the cold water, stuck my foot in a bucket of ice…oh well, in the end it just went away.

Despite all of the above I've actually never cared about ageing, life is fragile and I feel blessed to have lived thirty years. I feel blessed to be surrounded by people I love. With all that said and done, I can’t help it though, I still feel like a ballie.

News24 Voices Terms & Conditions.


AB praises selfless skipper

2010-11-21 18:15

Join the conversation! encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.

Inside News24

Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.