An Open Letter to Men Offended by #MenAreTrash

2017-05-12 09:27

Sure Gents,

When you are done being offended by  #MenAreTrash, could you please spare some energy to help us mourn the dead?

Can you please spare some anger for the fact that even with our high road fatality rate, women are more likely to be murdered than die in road accidents?

Could you also be vociferous in your indignation over the fact that of all women who are murdered in our country, 50% are killed by their intimate partners/boyfriends/husbands/ex-boyfriends/ex-husbands etc.

Can your anger also burn against the justice system that convicts less than 10% of accused rapists?

We will also need your energy in fighting the scourge of abuse that saw  1449 minor children  being impregnated whilst in grades 3 to 7.

Your rage will be helpful when we also fight SAPS over the fact that there have been a grand total of zero arrests for these 1449 cases of statutory rape.

So, while we invoke the memory of Flabba Habedi to strengthen our "not all men argument", may we also jog our memory and recall all the women in our families, streets, workplaces, universities, schools and churches who have had to lie about walking into doors or “slipping” to hide the  national shame that is violence against women.

Please join us, lest we start thinking that you are like those white guys who responded to #BlackLivesMatter with the myopic #AllLivesMatter.

The death of Karabo Mokoena should force us to acknowledge this: Women are under siege.

Thank you.

****************************************************************

One last thing before we go: Can we also address, as a society, the subtle victim-bashing that comes with the question: "Why does She Stay?":

When we ask "why does she stay?" We are asking someone with a broken leg: "why don't you run?"

Abuse breaks more than skin, it breaks the soul and erodes a person's courage to stand. Abuse doesn't stop working once the bruises start healing.

When we ask "why does she stay?" We are asking a broken-winged bird: "Why don't you fly away?"

Abuse hurts more than her muscles, it breaks down one's self-worth, it shuts more than eyes, it closes one's ability to see themselves right and to see a way out.

Abuse isn't skin deep, it smashes the mind...ukulimala kwenqondo...

When we ask "why does she stay?" We're asking a dead person: "why don't you move?"

Well, she can't move. She's dead.

Rest In Power.

-@Akanirelo

*Akani writes in his personal capacity.

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