An open letter to SINGLE WOMEN – about your future husband

2015-11-27 07:21

The Husband and the Future you desire.

Dear Beautiful

l, Gorgeous, Smart, Intelligent and God loving Sisters,

I would like to introduce you to someone. Let’s call her Sharon. Recently, Sharon was going on a date with a potential “future husband”, so she sent me a message to get my honest and brotherly opinion about her “future husband” and men generally.

Giggling like a teenager, she was excited because her dream of getting married this year finally looked like a reality – by the way, she is approaching the age of 30. She had been in a few failed relationships, tried a Ben 10 (younger lover), and had even gone through a failed marriage. This time, with all the experiences she had collected, she asked me for my sincere advice on what to look out for in a “future husband”.

As a husband, pastor, mentor, author and journalist, I have researched and lived the life of a “future husband”. I have interviewed and counseled countless people on relationships.

I felt so privileged to be trusted to give counsel. I wish more men and women would stop fighting each other and start talking to each other. Trust me; I am an honest evaluator – direct but sensitive and truthful. I know the truth sometimes hurts, but it heals afterwards. She was humble enough to seek my advice in order to avoid the pitfalls so many women have fallen into.

As a man, I get very angry whenever I see women being disrespected, devalued and treated with little dignity by other men. Let’s just say it has a way of catapulting my holy anger, I always do my best to protect women from some predator, abuser and cheater who calls himself a man, but is disguised as a “future husband”.

Anyway, I delightfully shared with Sharon some of the points from my ‘Future Husband Template for a Godly Woman.’

  1. A future husband will know that you are a future wife – trust me, most men immediately know if you are “the one” or not. We just know and we will act on it.
  2. A future husband will own up to his mistakes. If he keeps making excuses for his mistakes, he shouldn’t be in your future because most likely he is just a church boy (Immature Christian man).
  3. A future husband will respect you no matter the circumstance. If he only respects you when he wants to get something in return – red flag!
  4. A future husband will do whatever it takes to provide – he is a go-getter. He might not provide everything, but he always does his best.
  5. A future husband has integrity. When he promises you heaven and earth, and cannot even deliver Soweto, something is wrong. He doesn’t make promises he knows he cannot keep.
  6. A future husband seeks more than just outer beauty – like every other man he is visually-stimulated but his heart makes the best judgment not his eye. He wants to know you inside out and not just outside in so he can show off your inner and outer beauty.
  7. A future husband is an investor – he is very ready to invest in your emotional, physical and spiritual well-being. (I am definitely investing in my wife so she can be a crossbreed between Meagan Good and Joyce Meyer.)
  8. A future husband will point you to Jesus rather than to himself. If he behaves like he is your #1 superhero taking the place of “SuperYeshua”, then I sense a problem coming.
  9. A future husband will pray with you because there is nothing more intimate. The beauty of any godly relationship is experienced when you pray together.
  10. A future husband will make a good friend, not just a good lover. A tall, dark and handsome Idris Elba lookalike is not enough without true friendship.

I also reminded Sharon (and want to remind my sisters too) that it is not, nor has it ever been and never will be a woman’s job to look for a “future husband”. His job is to find YOU! – so my sisters, keep it biblical.

To all single women, someday you’ll be the LOVE of somebody’s life. Just be patient.

Whatever you do, you shouldn’t get desperate, feel lonely and start running around churches, clubs, concerts, weddings etc looking for your “future husband”. Keep looking sexy and elegant. Develop a godly character so that when he finds you, he will know that you are cut from a different cloth – “future wife” material.

Your “future husband” adviser and one woman husband,


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AB praises selfless skipper

2010-11-21 18:15

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