ANC Voter's Guide 2016

2016-05-24 06:02

Have you always voted for the ANC in the past? Are you wondering whether you should vote ANC again? If so then this ANC Voter’s Guide 2016 is for you.

Yes, things have changed. The green and gold just isn't what it used to be. Loyalty is a good character trait, but so is common sense and thinking about the future. Does loyalty trump all? These are difficult questions.  Hope the guide helps! ANC Voter’s Guide 2016 How To: it’s easy, just go down the list and look for the heading that best describes you, then read the associated guidelines. Enjoy your vote! (and please do vote – many struggled and died for your privilege to do so) You are Jacob Zuma

Definitely vote ANC.

Should your beloved ANC lose a significant proportion of its support in the upcoming elections, then factions in the ANC that do not support you might start to dominate. Maybe these vile ANC factions have some remaining moral values. Maybe they even care a little about the country and its people. Those kinds of people cannot be trusted. Not just cleva, but caring! Goodness, they may actually impeach you and fire you as president! That might have some very bad consequences for you. You might actually get your day in court. If found guilty you might be locked up for corruption and theft. If the Gupta’s were charged, extradited and tried in court they might spill all. Who knows, maybe your sons are somehow implicated and are charged too! Your wives would lose their Mercs. In order to pay your debts Nkandla might be sold to an Indian capitalist… for a bowl of curry, just like you’re doing with your country and its people. Definitely vote ANC. Corrupt ANC MP’s, ministers, premiers and mayors

Are you filthy rich and in government? Are you, your family and friends coining it big time through your BEE shareholdings, backhanders and offshore accounts? Are you a mining marauder?

Definitely vote ANC.

The last thing you would want is for all of these tenders, contracts and payments to be reviewed. The gravy train could be derailed, seriously derailed. You might not just end up a few irritating pennies short of a Rbillion, not just as an ambassador to Venezuela, not just suspended for ever on full pay, not just disgraced but luckily filthy rich. You might actually end up in jail. Sjoe! The ANC Voter’s Guide 2016 advice to you and your corrupt colleagues, families and friends? Definitely Vote ANC. Tenderpreneurs

Do you have friends in high places? Can you get a R300m tender for a R20m job without even knowing what it was all about? Do you get full payment without delivering anything of lasting value? Do you love your private piggy banks Eskom, Transnet and SAA? Are municipalities fields of money, just waiting for your harvesting hand?

Definitely vote ANC.

Why? Well, just imagine the following terrifying scenario:

If opposition parties gained more seats in municipalities, then Council members might actually start checking up on each other. Tenders would be awarded to the company that can do the best possible job at the lowest price. Full payment would not be upfront or not even after a shoddy job. Payment would be based upon performance, and performance be transparently measured and the consequences of failure would be swift and severe. Goodness me, you might suddenly be expected to be an expert that does a high quality job on time and on budget! Just like the poor schmucks running regular businesses… Definitely vote ANC. Incompetent, lazy government employees

Are you clueless at your job? Do you know how to do a good job but you couldn’t be bothered since no one cares, your boss is never around and you get paid no matter what? Are tax paying citizens just government slaves that must work hard and cough up for your salaries?

Definitely vote ANC. If other parties get more of the vote then maybe your boss is suddenly from another political party. Maybe he or she wants to make clear to all that you cannot do your job or expects you to work hard. Nope, you don’t want that. Definitely vote ANC. Social grant receivers

Are you old, struggling and have parentless grand children to support?

Sorry, but the ANC Voter’s Guide 2016 advice to you is a bit more complex.

The social grant programme of the ANC is excellent and is the minimum that the citizens of this country can do for you. We should do much more. You lived the prime of your life in a system that despised you, used you, abused you and neglected you. Inhumane and stupid government policies on HIV/AIDS robbed you of your beloved children. Not only have you lost the joy of having your children in your life, but they were also the only “pension fund” you were able to invest in.

The ANC was the first South African political party that made it government policy to help you. All other political parties have vowed to continue the ANC’s good work in this regard.

What you must consider is whether our country will be able to afford supporting you for much longer. More than 40% of our youth are unemployed. Their numbers swell every year. The rich and middle class know that much of their tax money is wasted and stolen, and therefore don’t want to pay it anymore. Foreigners think our country may not have enough money to pay its debts in future. They think the risk of our entire country being declared bankrupt is increasing.

As things stand, the future does not look bright. Voting for non-ANC parties should increase the pressure on elected officials and civil servants to be more effective and efficient. However it would not be a fast cure all – our challenges are too great to hope for that.

The ANC Voters Guide 2016 advice to you is not clear. Sorry. Maybe vote ANC – they were the first to give you dignity and support. Surely they will at least continue supporting you, even if all else fails. Maybe the younger ones will return to the ANC’s Tambo and Mandela past. Maybe vote for anyone but the ANC – a good reminder that your vote is yours to give, and not the ANC’s to demand. It might make them work a bit harder to receive it again in 2019. Competent, hard-working government employees

Do you take pride in your work? Did you study hard to get qualified for your job? Are you blocked by a glass ceiling of incompetent and corrupt bosses that only promote those that join their corrupt ranks?

Vote for anyone but the ANC.

What you need is for politicians to keep each other honest, as honest as possible. The only way to ensure that is by creating a very strong opposition. Over time this will lead to consequences for the corrupt and incompetent. The harder it gets for the corrupt and incompetent, the easier it gets for the honest and competent. You will achieve your best and be proud of what you do. Vote for anyone but the ANC. Tax paying private sector middle class

You have voted for the ANC each and every time. Voting for them in 1994 is one of the best memories of your life. Sometimes just thinking of the green and gold’s history and heroes makes you cry tears of pride.

You are one of the citizens keeping this country afloat. You sit in traffic, work, pay insurance, school fees and tax. You pay the 2 million private security force that is protecting you and your peers from criminals. You are worried about the future of your South Africa. You are worried about the future of your children.

Vote for anyone but the ANC.

Your president Jacob Zuma makes jokes about the R250m he stole from you to build his grotesque kraal mansion in the bundus. ANC Ministers are safe. They are safe because you pay for their police protection units and their black BMW blue light brigades.

You are the fool of the corrupt – they giggle as they waste your future on cognac and caviar. You cannot let their madness continue. You owe it to yourself, your children and your future to teach the corrupt cabal currently in charge of the ANC a lesson that they will never forget. Give the corrupt the day in court they deserve. Give the competent, honest and caring a chance to thrive. Vote for anyone but the ANC. The 10 million unemployed

Vote for anyone but the ANC.

The ANC has failed you for more than 10 years now. The time has come to see if someone else does a better job for you.

Vote for anyone but the ANC.


A corrupt elite is destroying our country and gobbling up our future. There is much that needs doing if we want to create a Switzerland in South Africa. We must start today.

For more on what we need to do and why we need to get rid of the corrupt ASAP, get my free eBook Societal Renaissance at

Follow me at @LionelBisschoff

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