Black Cinderella: a tale about black men who don't date black women

2016-01-11 06:32

South Africa is a country that's had to deal with micro-aggressions, segregation and discrimination and as a result for a long time interracial relationships were frowned upon in many societies and I'm happy to finally live in a time where love sees no colour, and interracial relations are celebrated across the world.

Everyone is entitled to a personal preference regarding dating whom they like, and so black men have come out talking about how they prefer not to date black women for a number of reasons. Personally, I don't care what race black men choose to date, but I wish they could do so without insulting black women, black men need to stop perpetuating harmful stereotypes about black women. Nowadays, black men deliberately exclude black women from their dating pool based on preconceived notions.

To criticize a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous. Amongst some of the reasons  that men mention as to why they prefer not to date black women, is that once they become successful as black men it becomes demoralizing to be with a black woman. There is this misconception that the success of the black man is a social science that women, black women were not disciplined enough to master its intricacies. I'm never one to call men who date outside their race sell-outs,but for such reasons they seem to be. A lot of black men who don't date date black women always seem to use the word submissive. Apparently, black women are not submissive. But why should they be? Black women are then also criticized on their hair and hips, amongst everything else.

In my opinion, this kind of decision to discriminate against black women serves to unravel the strength and vulnerability in black men. The black man obviously doesn't have the desire and strength to love a black woman for all that she is, and she shouldn't be worried about that. The realization that is necessary is that black women are not 'something to deal with' but rather she is a price worth working for.

Black women, it is imperative to be shed off a sense of inferiority, that as black women you must assert yourself and be self-reliant. Black women need to be okay with not dating a man who discriminates against them for such reasons. I believe that, the very serious function of that kind of spurning by black men is prevention to direct black women attention into something else, something more substantial. Just like racial discrimination from other races, the purpose of racism distracts and serves to have black women always having to explain their reason for being, explaining their existence and why they are good enough for anything, just like everyone else. This kind of discrimination is the extreme agitation of a black woman's mind and emotion as a shifted woman with the future in her hands.

Men in general should learn to choose a woman based on the content of her character, and black women really shouldn't be bothered to apologies for being demoralized about being black. My message here today, is to black women that anyone who discriminates against you for being black is redundant and you need not waste one more moment of your time on them.

Black women, I need you to know that even on the day you are feeling vulnerable, let it be a direct cause to your strength, on a day you struggle with your hair and the Afro doesn't come out 'right', you are fine and beautiful as ever. Even when we hold onto an unpopular ideal, principle and believe, hold on and stand by it. That is true freedom, to be who we truly are. Always stand, and stand some more.

And we shall live, black ever after. Happily.

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