Dear Absent Father

2014-03-11 10:14

I was raised by my mother and step father.  I decided to write this letter to give a voice to many other children out there who never received the love and support they deserve from their fathers. I hope this will give absent fathers pause for thought.

Dear Absent Father

Growing up  and being raised by a step father sure has not been easy.

I write this letter out of anger, hate, sadness and the weakness I feel inside me whenever I see a happy family at the mall, or a friend telling me about the great things s/he has planned for their parents’ anniversary.

I don't want to know why you left, but I want to know why you put my mother through so much pain.

You chose feeding your flings over supporting my education, you chose to act 'real nigga' to your friends and support their drug and alcohol addiction rather than being there for my mom when she needed you the most.

I am not expecting you to answer all these questions that I have for you, but as your one and only child - I want to ask you, how do you sleep at night not knowing if I had something to eat for dinner or not? Whenever you feel hungry, do you even care to ask yourself if your son is hungry, too?

You don't even deserve the name 'father' because you didn't even earn it. What did I do to you to deserve your negligence? Your indifference?

I sometimes wonder how happy I would be if I were to see you and mom together, spending Valentines' day together and reminding each other how much you are grateful to have each other.

I am not saying you had to stay in a relationship that you both weren't happy in because of me - but maybe if you were there throughout my childhood, I wouldn't be wishing for This.

All I want to know is - if you were unhappy, you could've left and retained a friendship. You could've kept a relationship with me. I sometimes want to pick up a phone and swear at you, tell you how I wish for you to die a painful death and rot in hell - but because I am only 21, there's so much ahead of me that I want you to see me achieving.

I want you to say "that's my boy" and everyone around you to say "but we don't know him, where was he all along?" I know a part of you will die a little inside.

Don't get this letter wrong, I am happy where I am with my life... I just wanted to say this, today.

__

Sandile Nene

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