Dear African wives, time to take husband number 2, 3 and 4

2016-11-27 10:31

According to an article published on Sowetan live about polygamous wives, the Following captures the reasons why men opt to enter into polygamous relationships (quotes are from the article).

According to one interviewee (a polygamist), the basis for taking another wife is to avoid a case where a "man who goes out of his home to seek pleasure with someone who is not his wife. If a man has developed an interest in another woman, it is his responsibility to introduce her to his wife, and also to his family, and take that woman to be his wife and join his household."

I am baffled as to why this argument has not been applied by women. I mean, in the interest of not going out to seek pleasure outside the home, why aren't women bringing men into their households as second husbands?

Of course patriarchal states contributed in the failure of women to bring additional husbands to their homes because of material dependency and power dynamics. It is commonly argued men who wed more than one wife did so out of the material capacity they had, a privilege that many women were systematically deprived of having.

Moreover, the perception of women as merely objects without a voice is salient in the example of the Gova family wherein the first wife was deprived of deciding if she wants a second wife in the home or not. Moreover, it is very unfortunate that in todays date, female children are regarded less important and unworthy of inheriting property, thus the reproduction of the same gender inequalities we have all linked to backward thinking about "culture".

Moreover on the subject of culture, the interviewed polygamist reiterated "You do not find any wife objecting to this, as it is PART OF OUR CULTURE, and in fact, it shows that the man is honest and does not do any philandering...”

It is becoming a well known fact that many women have always had extramarital affairs, the fact that DNA tests prove certain children don't belong to the men that raised them is enough grounds for women to develop and endorse cultural practices that will show that they are "honest and do not [do] any philandering"

Lastly, when another interviewee was asked "the burning question: why? Apart from culture, why do some men insist on having more than one wife?" He replied that “People have different qualities. You cannot have one person having all the qualities that you will love. One person can be good with children, another person might have a bubbly personality, and another will know how to please a man sexually. Very rarely would you find all these attributes in just one person. Having more than one wife gives one the experience of all the different qualities that come together to make for a very successful and strong family dynamic,” he says.

Again, if this is the reason for polygamy, I can bet you right now that your wife knows you lack certain "attributes" that a second husband could easily handle enabling her to experience "different qualities" that will make for a very successful and strong family dynamic".

Moreover, the great part is that women can do this under customary law in our society that anchored by a constitution that declares all of us equal.

So sisters, how soon will you be introducing your second husband to your family?

My advise is put all of them in one household. This will be an environmentally friendly decision, for instance instead of buying 2, 3 or 4 fridges that consume energy (we do have an energy crisis in the continent), you will buy 1 or 2 depending on the quantity of food items that will need refrigeration. Moreover, it is also the most revolutionary act against excessive consumerism. I am of the belief that having 4 of your husbands in one home will contribute to the challenge of over consumption feeding unruly capitalist production.

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