Dear Solomon Ashoms, RE: Kelly Khumalo's love letter.

2014-11-13 18:35

Dear SOLOMON ASHOMS,

So you like letters?

When I read your first 'LOVE letter', (excuse me while I puke over this judgmental hogwash), I remember exactly where I was. It was at a fabulous dinner party organized by a friend of mine. We drank so much wine, it numbed the the ridiculousness of your arguments. Oh sorry 'concerns'. Much like you, he thought an Open Letter to a Woman you don't know, lecturing her about things YOU don't like was a good idea.

Thank God He had a friend like me.

Senzo Meyiwa's passing was a tragedy (as death always is), but to give a list of FIVE things Kelly Khumanlo did wrong in Senzo's marriage was unjustifiable and disingenuous. I expressed this to whoever disseminated your sardonic 'tips' when I was sent an invite to your blog. Apparently you're still churning out liturgic prose.

Its 2014. We don't write these (open letters) anymore. It may be because you've been a bit busy you know, "giving advise of faith, marriage, sex and culture" to notice Kim Kardashian's butt eclipsing social media with her latest cover, the Comet 67p land and the chaos underway in your Parliament, but there have been other news.

Since you're using your platform to tell people how they can and cannot live their lives I thought I'd do the same. The fact that she may have prayed in tongues on Twitter (also a thing of the past) at some point, was not an invitation for you, a well read Scholar to position yourself in her life and her relationships. And you cause further confusion by claiming to provide marriage advise. What another load of crap, in an open letter? How sincere.

Has anybody ever told you what a break-up's like? Add to that the abusive counsel of those similar to you over your deceased lover's body! Or do you get open letters like these just before a side-chick leaves you? The moment you call someone a 'nyatsi' under hummings of a hymn, the 'love letter' turns abuse. Oh and your hypocrisy and ignorance is clear: the girl's life is a mess and you know how to fix it. Please! I'd be lying if I said I'm writing this psycho-babble with tears in my eyes, but I did start crying after laughing f****ng hard at your careful pretensions to women. So thank you for that!

Since I doubt you get out the church much you'd have seen Kelly at Feather Awards which were held yesterday. Next time try the squeezing out between the pews, I did that 14 years ago and I've never looked back. So your concerns for her are unjustified. She's probably fine. Your rejected nuttiness comes back to the cyberspace, encrypted with sexism. By not acknowledging the person who stepped out of the marriage in the first place, We've hear this jam before. Its another version of SLUT. SHAMMING!

I can't wait for your next sermon. The unfortunate thing about open letters is they are like heroine. They are very more-ish. So your next one (if we'd be so lucky) shouldn't come across fair and objective.

I've attached below a link to your 'Love' Letter to show you there's no hard feelings

Xoxo

Solomon Ashom's open letter to Kelly Khumalo.

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