Golf - A gentlemen's game

2014-04-23 04:39

Two men playing golf

It was on one of those warm Highveld winter mornings when two men set out for a round of golf. The first man, having spent hours on his latest Smart phone, downloaded a Golfing App, analysed his last 6 games and then projecting his final score on the 18th hole for this outing, was prepared for the game. With smartphone in hand, he knew what he must score on each hole in order to reach his predicted score. He was now armed with a clean scorecard (same App!). As he prepared for his first tee shot his mind raced to the 18th hole....and with each subsequent shot he would recalculate to see if he would make his projected final score.

The second man, the owner of a very old cell phone, the ones that were used for their original function ... to phone. NO fancy gadgets. He had not thought of his past games nor worried about previous scores. His intent was only to enjoy the day. He had not remembered to bring a scorecard, but he found a piece of paper in his pocket that he could use...actually discovering it was a shopping list his wife had given him before he left that morning. But there was room to write on it....if only he could find a pen. Eventually he abandoned the idea of keeping score. He had, after all, come to enjoy the day and not to better his score by the 18th hole.

The first man worked methodically from green to green, always mindful of that final goal. His golf cart with his caddy driving, took him quickly from one spot to the next. This gave him time en route to clean the cleats of his golf shoes, and to refigure his scores and focus on the projected final outcome.

The second man walked. He felt the gentle summer breeze across his face, felt the morning dew dampen his old takkies. He stopped periodically to listen to the song of a bird or to watch a busy butterfly. He studied the clouds that drifted across the deep blue sky and appreciated the richness of the sea of green grass that surrounded him. He would, on occasion, lose a ball, but it did not matter since he was not really keeping score.

Both men eventually reached the 18th hole and each would return home to share their experience with their loving wives. The first man texted his wife a message and said he would tell her the story of achieving his goals, when he got home. The second man spoke to his wife briefly about the game. They both made it to the 18th hole, but getting there was a very different experience for each of them.

I tell men this story when they come to see me at my clinic. They are often goal driven while women are into detail; so often on this journey of life (and love) we miss the pleasure of the journey completely by being results driven.

From: A day in the life of a Sexologist - Elna McIntosh has a PhD in Human Sexual Behaviour

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