Love can pay the bills!

2014-11-21 07:39

In the week, I was watching a South African television talk show; and the panel included influential women in South Africa, from various sectors. The topic of the day was based on the book ‘Smart Girls Marry Money’. The conversation was interesting some ladies around the table agreed with the statement and some were against it and others remained neutral.

I personally am a fan of conversations of this nature as they reveal truths about human dynamics. Due to urbanisation and constantly changing society we are some-what forced to engage in such conversations. I look at it this way; women over the past years have gained economic freedom – no longer are women reliant on significant others to pay their bills. Artists like Ne-yo have gone as far as releasing songs titled ‘Miss Independent’. This bares testament to the idea that the independent women is accepted and glorified.

Women, are smashing the glass ceiling in the corporate world, women are thriving in business. It’s fair game; men and women have the same chances in corporate and business. If all is fair in the world, why can’t we transcend the same norm behind closed doors? I am convinced that men got the raw end of this ‘Miss Independent’ revolution. Miss Independent is self-sufficient, self-reliant and honestly a tad bit selfish – understandably so as she has worked hard to get to where she is and continues to work hard establishing herself as a force to be reckoned with. She has earned the right to not want a broke man...she wants what she wants and she gets it.

When it comes to marriage how do we translate this independence to something more positive; when some of us believe that the man is the head of the home, how do I as ‘Miss Independent’ let go of my ‘ I got this’ attitude and allow ‘Mr Man’ to look after me financially and otherwise? I have a problem with so-called established women who say they don’t want broke men.  I think it’s a shallow statement made by self-righteous women – who view men as assets. It fuels the ‘Gold digger’ stereotype we as women have earned throughout the years.

I think we as women have unnecessary prerequisites when choosing a significant other and we sit around weeping about how there are no good men out there. Well of course there aren’t any - none of them can satisfy our shallow list of demands. Love has lost its depth it seems; what happened to the days of our grandmothers, where it was truly all about love with exception of some royal families. We are a drive through generation and we expect love to cater to our drive through mentality.

My view is that love is not about money. Love is selfless it’s about finding a companion, someone who shares similar values, ambitions in life. Love is not a business deal however there is potential to make money in the realm of being in-love, you can build money in a loving, supportive, genuine relationship it sets you up with an emotionally healthy environment to establish yourself economically. Whether you are broke in a shack eating pap and eggs for dinner with your significant other or you are well-off in a mansion and eating caviar with your significant other – just make sure LOVE lives there.

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