Scenting the Winds of Change in Parliament

2016-02-15 17:29

South Africans were blown away by yet another gaseous outburst in Parliament. Airy investigations reveal that an unruly point of privilege brought up earlier in the sitting by a poo party member, not adequately vented, escalated into a rapidly rousing eruption, interrupting the deceptively nobler gas.

Great quantities of Wind began to fill the House. The Speaker and the Chairperson, fearing that the distressing stink may have been tear gas, ordered the impolite members responsible for launching the flatulent fumes to evacuate as punishment for emptying their distended contents.

Discharging on those odious points of order and gassy points of privilege that permeated the atmosphere earlier had resulted in a stale mate between the Speaker and the bombastic members. The first culprit did not even attempt to disguise his breezy crime when he openly blew his foul kiss to the Speaker. And no sooner a procession of idle rear end trumpets began to blast their familiar bloated and explosive riff.

They gave vent to their festering grievances, first in short bursts, and later with a loud rip. Polite members had to hold their nose and restrain themselves while being bombarded by several of these short and sharp discharges. Honourable members felt it would have been offensive if they sought to escape even when one of those long-winded discharges let rip something nuclear. And so, overcome by the heavy atmosphere, lips trembling they grudgingly inhaled that offensive potpourri served by the House. I personally think if they had the guts they should have returned the flavors instead of bottling it up.

When the impolite poo party members excused themselves, the deceptively nobler gas began discharging freely over the House again. However, many honest people found the air equally repulsive, and worthy of junk status. When the fetid air settled, one of the invited guests, a typically colicky clergyman with a surprisingly delicate nose, could be heard muttering “Holy Crap”, “Holy Crap” as he rapidly vacated the House. I guess he was scenting the Winds of Change in Parliament. Perhaps it was a Whirlwind. Perhaps it was just Diarrhoea.

What are your scentiments? Me stinks our politicians are full of gas. Me stinks it is only natural for our politicians to discharge their duties freely in public. Me stinks their Words are but Wind.

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