Why did Senzo Meyiwa have a girlfriend?

2014-10-30 08:33

Social media is buzzing with Senzo Robert Meyiwa’s tragic death on  Sunday evening, 26 October 2014. He was killed in an apparent robbery at Kelly Khumalo’s house. Khumalo is a house hold name in the South African music scene. It is reported that Khumalo has a child fathered by Meyiwa  and ,Kelly was Senzo’s “side-chic”.

This tradegy got me questioning - men in this country who want their 'bread buttered both sides'. What happened to remaining committed to one woman?  What a disgrace to your supporters, to die at your girlfriend’s house as a married man. One can argue that Senzo died a happy death; he was at a place of comfort at the time of his death. Over the last couple of days, I have tried to make sense of this and to grapple with it and come to my own personal ideology.

Why the need for a Nyatsi (side-chic) as a married man? Is it perhaps due to dissatisfaction in the marriage -why remain in a toxic  marriage? There are many reasons to be explored; maybe you married too young, arranged marriage, having kids before marriage and pressure from traditional parents for you  to do the honourable thing. The truth is only known by the one who lives with these realities . Maybe some men can enlighten us and answer some of these pressing questions as South Africa has lost a son of high regard.

Was Senzo’s  death perhaps due to his infidelity? Was he at the wrong place at the wrong time? What if he had been at home with his wife and kids at that time, is there a possibility he could still be alive? We cannot dwell on 'what if’s 'when something so dreadful has occurred.

I expected strong moral fiber from an influential football star like Senzo. My naive belief says;  if you are in the public eye the fans have certain expectations from you, you sort of indebted to them. Upholding some sort of moral standard (with grace of course) should be an achievable goal , I acknowledging the fact that no one is perfect. My heart bleeds for South African men , as we hear of way too many cases of men cheating on their wives.

It’s possible that Senzo  had planned to marry Kelly. Some have said; “given the example of President Jacob Zuma settling with 4 wives, it is no surprise that  this Football champion followed suit.” I reckon  Senzo was a good guy in-love with two women. He wanted to have his cake and eat it (like most of his fellow South African brothers). I assume he had not paid lobola for Kelly, as it has not yet been reported. If he had paid that’s a different story, then Senzo 'ebengadli nge’tyala' (their relations were  fully paid for).

As a respectable gentleman why would you put yourself through so much disorder and admin of being with more than one woman...yho! It is unfortunate that some men  repeatedly degrade women and themselves. It seems these men have become satisfied with being treated as commodities traded from one woman to the next. Where is your sense of worth? Your dignity?

What makes you ’indoda indoda emadodeni ‘(a man of nobility) ?It seems it is the shallow ‘baby daddy’  title,  I am a man because I have kids with a 3-4 different women. Men may argue and say but women allow them to continue with their promiscuous ways. I say: let’s all practice self-control, both men and women of Mzantsi or we will never see an end to the fatherless generation / broken homes / raising broken children...which inevitably leads to a broken society.

Unless we begin to change our behavior both men and women. Start by valuing  our monogamous relationships , remaining faithful to our partners, we must  take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming President Jacob Zuma for our infidelity. If we decide to go the polygamy route then let’s follow cultural protocol.  I believe in the men and women of this nation, we can all work together and create stability in our homes and ultimately create a stable society.

My heart is broken , we have lost an African son ... Condolences to  Meyiwa’s family  and his supporters.

Lala Ngo’Xolo  (RIP) Senzo Robert Meyiwa.

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