You light up my life, Vijay

2014-11-05 14:50

The power’s off again.

So is it load shedding or has another coal silo fallen over? Is it on purpose or by accident, dammit!

Every day now, this is the question people ask one another, even though the answer makes no difference. These include tweeters, hysterical callers to radio shows and a colleague who needed trauma counselling and the bathroom after being trapped in traffic for 40 mins between Rosebank Gautrain station and the Hyatt Hotel, a distance of about 100m.

Hang on, let me consult my load shedding timetable circulated by City Powerless when they still had an Internet connection.

Hmm, according to this document it’s not our turn to be cut off.

The City Powerless spread sheet clearly states that Killarney is scheduled for load shedding on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 6am-10am. Well OK, today is Wednesday, but it’s 11h05 and the power’s only just gone pouff.

So that turned out to be a good joke - setting the alarm for 5h45 so I could get in one decent cup of tea before the kettle went dead. In the end the only lights that weren’t working at 5h45 were the ones in my head. Haha.

It also makes a joke of all the things I didn’t do to prepare for a power cut after 10h, like make stupid cauliflower mash for stupid Banting lunch, charge my devices and record Cake Boss, the only carb I now consume.

The City Powerless load shedding timetable looks trustworthy with area names, reference numbers and dates neatly set out in grid formation for the benefit of consumer micro-planning. Only problem is, it’s wrong.

On Sunday Killarney – described on the load shedding timetable as “Block 1” experienced a power cut from 9h30 until some time after we went to bed by candlelight at 23h. Not ‘our’ time or even ‘our’ day.

That the City Powerless timetable only goes to show they can’t count, may hold a slender ray of hope for other Block dwellers who, on paper, are worse off.

People who live in Block 2 – which includes Dainfern, Kya Sands and Northriding – have load shedding scheduled four days a week instead of three.

And the seriously disadvantaged residents of Block 8 – which includes Blackheath, Parkview, Westcliff and Randpark Ridge – have load shedding scheduled four days a week, including Saturdays and Sundays, between those previously happy cooking, web surfing, TV watching hours of 18h and 22h.

But like I said, so far the timetable might as well be scrunched up and burned, then we could make a fire and fry bacon.

I don’t know if Vijay Moodli is the author of the City Powerless timetable, but it came from his email. Vijay’s signature says he’s with the City of Johannesburg Oversight and Management Support at “EISD”. I don’t know what EISD stands for, except maybe Electricity In Sh*t Department.

Anyhow, Vijay signature is accompanied by one of those uplifting quotes some people like to put at the end of their mails.

Vijay’s quote is “There are only two things you must do in this lifetime. Be of service to others [ …] and polish your inner being to its fullest radiance.”

Vijay is my ray of hope. For the duration of the power cuts I would like him and his inner being to move into our flat. Then I’m going to put him on the mantelpiece and polish him a lot.

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AB praises selfless skipper

2010-11-21 18:15

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