You're a legend Bryan Habana, but I hate you

2013-07-14 15:10

So, Bryan Habana has left the Stormers to further his career in France for the next three years.

What a legend. Fifty Test tries, one of the most capped Boks and tons of medals to his name. The oke is truly a living legend. He’s got a bit of gas. Hy het spoed!

But, I’m not here to praise Habana, as much as I love the oke. This is to call him a tool and to let him know that he has not been forgiven for that try he scored in the dying minutes of the 2007 Super 14 final at the Shark Tank.

Man, what a party I was preparing to have when Albert van den Berg stretched over the line for what seemed to be the winning points. All we needed to do was kick the bloody ball out.

Up steps a very young Francois Steyn. Gives the ball a mahoosive hoof and misses the touchline. The ball stayed in and to cut a long story short, Bryan scored under the poles to break the hearts of every single rugby fan in KwaZulu-Natal, and about 80% of those in the Eastern Cape.

Prior to that, Habana was one of my new heroes along with Schalk Burger, Jacques Fourie and Luke Watson. They were born in 1983, and proved that that was the best year to be born in.

But, moments before I was about to start celebrating one of the greatest achievements by a South African franchise, instead, I had to settle for drowning my sorrows while watching my Bulls mates having a blast. Bastards.

So Bryan, even though I love you and think you are possibly one of the greatest things since sliced bread, for that one moment, when you broke my heart, I hate you. That moment will go down alongside Alan Donald dropping his bat, and Katlego Mphela (idiot) missing a sitter against Mexico on the biggest stage.

But, all is not lost Bryan. You can easily work your way back into my heart.

After your stint in France, you should do the right thing, just like Bob Skinstad and Percy Montgomery and come finish off your career in the most famous provincial rugby colours on the planet. Come play for the Sharks.

If you like, we can petition the President to allow you and Mrs Habana to stay in one of the presidential rooms at Nkandla for free. You will also not have to worry about traffic as you will have your very own helipad to travel between Durban and Nkandla on a daily basis for training.

So, Bryan, consider it. If you come here and you deliver what you once took from us (you kinda owe us), you will be forgiven and will build monuments in your honour… not really, but you’ll be considered a legend.

You’ve already played for the Lions, the Bulls and Province. Now you should complete the chapter, eh?

Alright, jokes aside: South African rugby should be grateful to the service it has received from Habana. One hopes that he does well and thrills French rugby fans as much as he has thrilled us.  I for one really hope we see him in Super Rugby again, even if it's for the Kings, or Griquas.

Follow @KingBiyela


AB praises selfless skipper

2010-11-21 18:15

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