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Take a hint, Noah.
As a fifth grader, Zoë believes she's too young to have a boyfriend. And she has no qualms about letting Noah, a boy who has a crush on her, know.
She wrote him a list of intense rules, and made it perfectly clear what will happen if he fails to follow them.
Here are the 7 rules in all their glory:
1. Do not touch my shoulder.
2. Do not get behind me with all that playing + foolishness. (Don't get behind me at all.)
3. Do not speak to me unless it is a greeting, which will be never.
4. Stop playing with me on the bus.
5. I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play 2 much.
6. Reread 500 times
7. You like me (as a gf) but I don't like you (as a bf) I'm 2 young!
And if Noah breaks any of these rules, she'll call her dad, mom's friend, fake mom (yes, her fake mom) and a janitor she knows.
My friend who's a 5th grade teacher just sent this to me! I'm dead!!! pic.twitter.com/FSDBxs9Vtq — Denny Dimples (@WhosDenverJones) September 15, 2016
My friend said she spoke to Noah and he likes her cuz she's the smartest girl n the class https://t.co/45LxJdV6Pt — Denny Dimples (@WhosDenverJones) September 15, 2016
@WhosDenverJones "And a Janator i Know" TEARSS — |ToryTiller|(@_JayNero) September 15, 2016
@WhosDenverJones @STFUParents You KNOW Zoh-zoh is SERIOUS when she calls in a favor from the janitor! — Heather D (@becomingcliche) September 17, 2016
@WhosDenverJones "My fake mom" lmfaooo I can't deal with kids — amarachi. (@diablotitty) September 16, 2016
@WhosDenverJones @eTheHustla Zoe is my hero! she's got consent and boundaries down, communicates very clearly. No excuses, Noah — Lindsay (@SunflowerRefele) September 16, 2016
Ladies print this and laminate it for all the men in your life and make some extra copies for all the men who aren't https://t.co/EUvUQTfBM1 — Caro (@socarolinesays) September 16, 2016
Read more:
‘I am done with boys!’ Adorably angst-ridden diary of a 7-year-old girl becomes a viral sensation
7-year-old girl breaks up with mom in hilarious birthday card
This 14-year-old’s breakup texts are downright brutal
‘When you die, do I get your stuff?’: Doting dad tweets the hilarious things his daughters say
