Jennifer Lopez didn't just want to "survive" her split from Marc Anthony.
The singer-actress separated from her husband ? with whom she has twins Emme and Max (5) ? two years ago after seven years together, and said she was "hurt" but wanted to "grow" from their break-up.
She told the Sunday Telegraph newspaper's Stella magazine, "It was hard.
"When Marc and I decided to separate, I thought, 'I'm not going to let this turn me into someone unhopeful who doesn't believe [in love] any more.’
"I didn't want to just survive it; I wanted to grow from it."
The 43-year-old star admitted women need to realise they can "love" themselves before anybody else, and should hold themselves in a much higher regard.
She added, "I did learn a lot. Most importantly, to love myself first. As women, I don't think we do that enough. We always love somebody else more than ourselves. I did that for a long time and I couldn't understand why things weren't working.
"Then I realised I wasn't valuing myself in the way I deserved. You accept things that are less than what you want, and then you wonder why you find yourself in these situations.
"You think, 'I wouldn't treat anyone in this way so why am I being treated like this? Why can't I find somebody who treats me in the way I treat them?' "