Scientologist for a day


Alien spirits, silent births, purification programmes and auditing meters – Scientology doesn’t exactly have a reputation for being conventional and the recent implosion of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage has done no favours.

But surely this belief system can’t be as bizarre as it’s depicted? Why else would more than 10 million people worldwide, including some of Hollywood’s best-known personalities, be such ardent followers?

I decided to visit the Scientology church in Kensington, Johannesburg, to see if it’s as kooky as it’s made out to be – and four hours and R375 later I’d been “audited”, forced to watch at least half a dozen films extolling the life-changing benefits of founder L Ron Hubbard’s set of beliefs and practices known as Dianetics – and diagnosed as severely depressed, nervous, irresponsible, critical and lacking accord.

What’s more, if I didn’t get help soon I’d die! No jokes.

Read more of Eddie Maluleke Kalili’s experience in YOU 26 July 2012.

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