Over the years she’s cut herself, taken diet pills and covered up in baggy clothes. American singer Billie Eilish has never been comfortable in her skin, and she recently opened up about her difficult relationship with her body and an unpleasant incident last year.
In October, the 19-year-old, who’s known for wearing loose clothing, was seen heading to the beach in a figure-fitting vest and shorts. It caused quite a stir among internet trolls, with one referring to her having “a mid-30s wine mom body”.
During an interview with Vanity Fair, the singer, who has an auditory-processing disorder and Tourette's syndrome, referred to the sickening experience.
“I think that the people around me were more worried about it than I was because the reason I used to cut myself was because of my body,” Billie told the magazine.
“To be quite honest with you, I only started wearing baggy clothes because of my body.”
The Grammy Award-winning artist also revealed that she has a love-hate relationship with her figure, admitting that she’s taken diet pills to lose weight.
“I was really, really glad though, mainly, that I’m in this place in my life; because if that had happened three years ago, when I was in the midst of my horrible body relationship, or dancing a ton, five years ago, I wasn’t really eating. I was, like, starving myself.
“I remember taking a pill that told me that it would make me lose weight and it only made me pee the bed – when I was 12.
“It's just crazy.”
This is not the first time the singing sensation has opened up about her looks. During an interview with British GQ last year, Billie revealed the issues with her body stemmed from not feeling loved and desired in past relationships.
“Here's a bomb for you: I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them.
“And it's a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody.
“So I dress the way I dress as I don't like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging [my body], or the size of it.
“But that doesn't mean that I won't wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before.”
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Billie, who has become a driving force in the body-positivity movement, released a short film, titled Not My Responsibility, in May 2020 to slam body-shamers and trolls.
“If I wear what is comfortable, I am not a woman,” she said during the short film. “If I shed the layers, I’m a slut.
“Though you’ve never seen my body, you still judge it and judge me for it. Why? We make assumptions about people based on their size. We decide who they are, we decide what they’re worth.”
Sources: Vanity Fair, Metro, Page Six, Elle