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Well gosh, who would’ve thought? The future king of England has beaten some of the hottest hairless hunks in the world to wear a crown of the follicle-less kind.
You can only imagine how Wills must have reacted when he heard the news. A bit of a hee-haw into his morning cuppa probably, followed by a “You see, Kate, I told you I’d still be cute when you first noticed that patch of pate shining on the back of my head.”
Let’s face it though, it is a bit odd, isn’t it? William may be many things: he seems like a good dad, he’s clearly devoted to his wife and he works damn hard at stuff that often seems dead boring. But sexy? Not so sure about that one.
When he was younger, he was quite a catch – ruddy cheeks, broad shoulders, clear blue eyes like his mom. And he had good teeth too, which, to be honest, is quite something for a Brit. But then he started shedding his hair like so many fellows in the Firm and he lost some of his edge.
Soon he was wearing dad jeans and sensible pullovers and tasseled loafers. All a bit old before his time, although with his job (and that little brother of his) he had to prove he was made of decorous, don’t-rock-the-boat stuff.
But now look! A study conducted by a cosmetic surgery company called Longetiva examined how many times Wills had been called “sexy” on the internet versus a bunch of other baldies.
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The prince came out top of the hairless pops: he’d been called the S word 17,6 million times which means he’s the bald bomb, the tuftless titan of the world. Mike Tyson came in second place (which may or may not tell you something, depending on your fondness for face tats and snarls), Jason Statham was third, Pitbull fourth and Michael Jordan fifth. The Rock, Bruce Willis, John Travolta (yes, even), Floyd Mayweather and Vin Diesel rounded out the top 10.
The internet, had a field day, of course, posting pics of other guys they thought should’ve topped the nothing-on-top tree. Like Shemar Moore (they have a point there).
Longetiva, incidentally,
is a London company that performs all kinds of cosmetic procedures – including
hair transplants. So this study seems like a bit of an anomaly, doesn’t it? Guys
who want the procedure might think twice about getting plugs in their pate if
hairless is considered hot. Just saying, Longevita.
Personally, I have nothing against bald men. Every second weekend I whip out a buzzer and shave my partner’s head because rather that than a combover. Come to think of it, Kate should do that for William. Heck, The Rock was People’s Sexiest Man Alive in 2016 – maybe William could wear that crown too. Lop off those sidey bits, Your Royal Highness. If you don’t have it, flaunt it.
