NICOLA WHITFIELD | Oh, put it away, Amy Schumer

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(PHOTO: Gallo Images/Getty Images)
(PHOTO: Gallo Images/Getty Images)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for body positivity. You’d have to be really mean or bitter and twisted not to think everyone is entitled to show any part of their body they want to.

Saggy bits and cellulite are as much a fact of life as death and taxes, unless you’re a freak of nature like, say, Kate Middleton. Even Kate Moss has dimply thighs and a little tummy these days and she’s still a sought-after model. It’s great!

But every now and then someone comes along who really gets under my skin. Sorry if you’re a big fan, but it’s Amy Schumer.

I liked a her a lot at first and really enjoyed Trainwreck – I thought she was funny and refreshing and I rooted for things to work out for her with that cute guy she played opposite. I even had a lump in my throat when she fought with her sister.

I liked the fact she wasn’t Emily Ratajkowski-perfect (don’t get me started on that one with her perennial pouting and preening) and ate like a normal person. But Amy is too much now. Too in-your-face, too look-at-me, too aren’t-I-hilarious? The granny panties, the breast-pumping, the sitting on the toilet, the floppingly wide-open legs on national bikini day . . .

And then there’s the recent pic she posted: standing nude in her bathroom and showing off her Caesarean scar. “Feeling like my C-section looks cute today,” she said. Cue many comments, with people praising her for being “brave” and “keeping it real” and showing other women we should proud of our bodies. “Amen sister!” one said. “Scars represent power, life and healing.”

Much was made of the fact she was normalising C-section scars and showing that women who delivered via the knife have nothing to be ashamed of.

If that was her motivation, then fine. But if she really wanted to make the millions of us who couldn’t or didn’t push feel better about ourselves, why didn’t she keep her kit on and just show us her scar? Each to their own, of course, but I think it’s show-offy.

And we’re on the subject, can I have a moment about Elizabeth Hurley? We get it, Liz, you look hot in a bikini. You’re 55 and you look like you did at 25. But don’t you own any other items of clothing? You even wore an itty-bitty bathing suit (well, the bottom half) in the snow recently, for heaven’s sake – and then got your 80-year-old mom to take the pics.

Liz Hurley
Liz Hurley in the snow (PHOTO: Instagram)

How do you think the rest of us in our mid-50s feel when we look at your washboard abs and up-there bosoms? Like I said, body positivity is great. But exhibitionism? Now that really gets on my droopy tits.

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