Dear Dr Louise
A few months ago my wife told me she was in love with a colleague and wanted a divorce. I tried to persuade her to see a marriage counsellor with me but she was adamant that she wants to spend her life with this man. She immediately moved out and they went on holiday and obviously spent Christmas together.
Christmas used to be my favourite time of the year but I’ve lost both my parents, and my two siblings live overseas and I couldn’t afford to visit either of them for the festive season.
How do I deal with this?
Dr Louise’s advice
The first thing you need to do is to stop thinking about your wife and her new lover having a wonderful time together. This will only make you feel sad and rejected.
The second thing to do is to make plans with friends so you spend time with people who are supportive.
Although you might feel like just being alone at home, it’s not a good idea. If your friends are away, the next best thing would be to take a short break somewhere on your own. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal shelter.
Going somewhere new or doing something different will help you get your mind off your wife, give you time to process what has happened and make new plans for your future